Just had a relapse. Ugh this is hard. Could really use encouragement. Im struggling with watching porn and masterbating
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Hi Hannah,
I would like to challenge you to write out what led you to your relapse.
You are talking of anger. You use very little words.
The thing is we cannot see you, we can only reflect on what you share.
So can you maybe try to be a bit more talkative about what happened.
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Sorry to hear. The good news is that you stopped what you were doing and now you’re trying again instead of giving up. I don’t know what kind of encouragement to give because I don’t know much about you yet or what happened. But we are here if you want to talk about it.
I’m also not super familiar with your addiction but I can tag some people who are if you haven’t met them yet.
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@ThajokerNL Sorry about that im new to this. I only made it 4 days. I struggle with some anger problems and when I’m mad I turn to porn and masterbating. The people im living with is really making me mad so it made me relapse. I tried hard to not to.
I agree. I have no experience with your specific addiction, but the more we know, the better advice we can share. There are also those here who can share their toolbox with you.
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It is difficult when a stressor is built in to your environment. What kinds of things do you do (other than your addiction) to deal with anger normally? Want some more ideas for that?
I find the serenity prayer useful as a tool for managing my perspective as well, which helps. Accepting the things you cannot change (people sometimes do things that anger you), and changing the things you can (what you do when angry, how long to hold on to your thoughts), for example. We’d love for people to just behave how we want, but that’s not part of the equation we have control over. So we work with what we’ve got.
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No worries, nobody here gets angry with you.
4 days is just 4 days. Your issue is specific and there will be fellows here with more info on the subject as @Ifs just said.
I do want to give you a push in the right direction.
Your anger is yours and just that. The people you lif with are maybe not how you would like them to be but that is ultimately also something you have to deal with.
The proces is… I feel angry/sad/disappointed or what ever. Then you want to start dampening those emotions. That’s why you do your thing.
I don’t know if it works for long or if it only serves as a distraction and after you are angry again.
So if you don’t want to watch porn. Find another activity that is less of a trigger. First thing that pops to mind is leave the house and walk a bit.
Seems hard to masterbate when your in the streets right.
Do you have any other ideas on how you keep yourself away from porn?
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I do try to pray when I’m angry other than that I would like some ideas
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I try to color, or do word searches
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Sleeping is also a very good idea.
It’s 2 in the morning over here so I am heading to bed.
Read our replies and browse the forum read up on other stories about your addiction it can help you.
Will check in with you in the morning.
Stay calm Hannah, it is your emotion not there’s. 
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Praying is excellent! Here are some others for managing anger:
Do something to stimulate or soothe your senses:
- hot or cold shower
- hold yourself in cozy blanket or pajamas
- listen to music (personally I like it with bass and a beat but it depends on my mood)
- walk outside
- have a non alcoholic drink you enjoy the taste of
Do something to think about something else:
- Exercise: move a muscle, change a thought!
- Puzzles or games that require focus
- Meditation
- Clean the house (I’ve heard the term “rage clean”
) - Write a gratitude list
Lastly, talking to someone can really help too. Just like you’re doing now, so good one!
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Hand the anger over to a higher power. Practice love. I’m day 17. You got to be willing and desperate to make change. Good you for four days.
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Also, I have found mindfulness to be priceless for handling strong emotions. CBT and DBT as well. The only thing is I didn’t quite get effective with those before practicing it a lot and working with it in therapy. But it’s worth looking into!
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My sponsor told me to practice mind over matter also.
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I struggled with relapse for a long time. I really felt like I was hopeless. A friend asked me if I had a therapist or dr. I really thought why? He said sometimes we need medication. Non addictive. They gave me an ssri, lexapro. It has been a miricle. I’m not saying this is for you. Just a suggestion
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@Randall Im already on meds for my depression and anxiety. I have to go see a therapist every 2 weeks
Hi Hannah, I’m also a pornography addict. I’ve found that this specific addiction has a lot of buried issues that keeps it rooted within you. I would encourage you to write out an inventory of everything in your life from a young age to now that pushed you towards isolation, and sexual behavior. Maybe attempt going to a meeting. Share with is your story as well!
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Hello again Hannah. I’ve relapsed to porn and masturbation 100’s of times. Don’t give up. Find solutions to cope with the anger in a healthy way and learn to find solutions to get through those moments of unclarity.
Everyone here is offering great support and feedback. It’s really incredible how similar we all are despite having different addictions.
Still, you might find it relieving to know that you’re not the only female here struggling with porn. @Victorious showed up again recently and I know that she can certainly relate to what you must be going through.
Keep posting. Good job. Don’t give up, ever!
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These two things will do wonders with all aspects of your life if you give them a chance.
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Hey @Wildchild! It’s nice to meet you.
I’m also an addict. This addiction is one that takes a hold of you for many reasons, so it’s important to begin discovering not only why you act out, but also things like where you do so. If you see a trend, work towards improving things in any way you can (such as leaving the location your tempted the most, or even leaving behind poor friends who encourage the behavior).
I’m rooting for you, and can’t wait to hear back from you. Let us know if you have any questions, or are struggling with anything. I hope all of us here can be of help to you. Keep up the good fight!
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