I just posted for the first time yesterday. I was 11 days in. I saw my therapist today and was so happy to tell her about my sobriety. Then I got home and I felt my anxiety take hold. I wanted so badly to get out of the house that I suggested going out to eat, especially because I work the next five days over the holidays. I knew before I even left the house that I was going to drink. I had two beers. They didn’t taste good. When I got home I felt so sick to my stomach and embarrassed that I wasn’t present enough to play with my kids. It sucks to start over. I think I’m slowly realizing what a waste of time it is to drink. For what? It’s not an act of leisure in my situation. It’s a tool to make me numb. Trying to gain wisdom from tonight’s experience as I listen to my kids sleep soundly in their beds.
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I’m in the same boat. Made it almost ten days, then drank yesterday for no reason other than feeling anxious and lonely. I need to make it stick this time so I can be present for my kids - I hear you loud and clear on that. How old are your kids? Mine are ten and twelve, so I really need to get it together before they are grown up and gone.
We can do this! Get some rest. Tomorrow we get another chance.
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