I have relapsed. It started with one glass of wine, it was fine, I limited myself, but then a few days later it turned into a bottle of wine. Then nights out over the last couple of weeks ended up with shots. I’ve not been black out drunk or anything, still in control, but it wouldn’t be long until I would be… Maybe next time or the time after. So I need to stop now before I get to that point. I have already noticed a decline in my mental health, my anxiety (or beer fear) is through the roof after a night out last night, I was drunk but still in control, but I just hate the way it makes me feel. And the expense is also too much. I always have the most resolve when I feel like this but it soon dissappears. I know I won’t get it right the first try or maybe not even the 10th try but I can’t help feeling like I’ve let myself down.
Good for you for coming back and owning where you’re at!
On your last post you got some good advice and I would definitely recommend reading that again. Also get a bit more involved in the forum, read around, share some memes, join in on the daily check in thread. I find it helpful to keep reminding myself of why I am not drinking any more. It’s also really great to be able to share anything that’s worked for me, as well as what I’m struggling with, with other people. Keep coming back! 
Thank you, you are right! I hit 21 days last time but I noticed the decline once I stopped using the app! I will definitely use it more this time around, everyone is so supportive and it’s such a great community to be a part of.
That’s the cycle for me. The feeling of doom, regret and dread from drinking is a strong emotion to stop and it’s easy when that’s a near memory. As the time passes the cons become less in my conciousness and the pros start to go around, the times I’ve had a good time with booze etc.
These memories start to increase until I open the idea of just having a couple. I set the scene with loved ones and tell myself this time it will be different and I’ll be able to just have a few.
I stay off just having a few and start feeling positive about it. But! Eventually I drink to excess and it all comes crashing down.
I’m back in my own misery of my mind after lots of booze. Fear, regret, self pity and anger sets in. The process then starts again.
This forum, literature and perhaps experience has helped me realise this cycle, this trick of the mind and hopefully I can jump off the wheel and stop it.
I’m working on understanding the science of why we drink and a level of understanding that will mean I won’t want to drink.
God bless (if that’s your thing). You are not alone in this Jade.
It also helps to not just continue using the app but use all its features there’s masses of information available on here but it takes time spent reading and absorbing it and get real involved with the community. Trust me you will benefit from it 
You’ve hit the nail right on the head there! That’s exactly what happens every time! I’m laid here in bed (it’s 9am) and I’m so so tired but my head won’t let me sleep, it’s too loud, and like you said it’s all because I thought one glass of wine 10 days ago would be okay. And now this. It’s so hard.
You’re right, and thank you for your words of advice. My main problem with alcohol is binge drinking, I’m not a daily drinker, so I always find the first week or two easy, once I make it through the weekend without a drink, I’m fine until the next weekend. But then I’ll use stress as an excuse, just one glass will help, but then as you said the bottle of wine is in the fridge and the next time I will have 2 glasses that’s in the bottle and finish it, seeing as it’s there. Then I go out with friends and I know I can go out and not have a drink I’ve done it loads before, but then one weekend you get a free drink on entry to my favourite bar, then a friend might buy me a drink and before I know it I’m on my 6th visit to the bar and 8 Jagerbombs deep, and waking up the next day with deep-set dread and anxiety. Like you said the cycle needs to stop before I even think about having ‘just one glass’.
Yes but as Buddha said “this like all things will come to pass” Remember you will feel better and this is fleeting.
Just try to remember the cycle and try to stop it 
What’s the score regarding cannabis use and driving in US states where it’s legal now? Here in the UK with the newish roadside drug swab tests that they have if it’s smoked a joint a week ago and I got pulled over and tested that week old joint would show on the tray and is lose my license so it’s just not worth it here anymore 
You can still get a dui for smoking pot and driving. Any possession charge is an automatic dui. Here in delaware if caught with anything under 7 grams is a misdemeanor now and a 100 fine. Its not even fully legal here yet just medicinal use for now which is soon to change…it varies state to state… MD right next door is strict as hell on it.
Hi, Jade. Hang in there. TS is a great app and one that I’m leaning heavy on before I go to rehab for 30 days. Gather as many tools as you can. I’ll be sending thoughts and prayers your way.
Yah I wasn’t sure as I thought I’d heard something different. I couldn’t imagine them allowing it
Maybe try a meeting it can be done first time i wish you well
If you haven’t already i sugguest aa I wasnt able to stop until i gave it a chance. You’ll be able to physically sit down with people who have been where you are and maybe currently are in that position.