I was having this problem where I just wasn’t feeling happy and I felt like the root cause was my sobriety… Stupid I know… Long story short it lead to a relapse which I’m having a hard time getting myself out of and back on track… I want it I really do it’s just my mental state is back in that “user” mentality and it fucking sucks… I don’t know what to do at this point but I really need some guidance and direction right now… Especially since it’s a relapse nobody knows about… I know what I need to do, I know what I should do… But why is it so fucking hard to actually do it!?! I don’t want to live this life but it’s like I can’t get away…
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I don’t know what your drug of choice is, but regardless there are so many avenues of support. What have you done in the past to get and stay sober? What will you add/change this time around to be successful?
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It sounds like you need some momentum…maybe start with throwing out whatever DOC you have and hit a meeting and build from there?
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I agree, get rid of anything you have!
If you’re not ready for a meeting listen to podcast, motivational videos, and make a list of all the bad things that come from your addiction. Remind yourself why you’ve decided to take the road into sobriety. And sometime we have to remove certain people from our lives.
“It’s not how hard you fall but how hard you fight to get back up” heard that in a motivational video and it stuck. Find your motivation! Trust me you have the strength just dig deep and let it out!!
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I agree with ktorres …get rid of watever it is u are using!! U have to start somewhere and coming on here and talking about it is a good start, i kno u may not kno any of us but we all come from the same place…or we wouldn’t be on here…my drug of choice was herion,fetnayol,well basically any kinda opioid smh it all started by marrying my best friend who i did anything for and it led me dwn a dark path but i woke up one day and told myself it wasn’t worth it!! It wasn’t worth all the heart break and pain i caused on my children, family,& others.i got clean 3 tyms already and relasped this is my 4th tym but i juss keep on pushing bc i kno my children and i deserve more than the misery I’ve caused us! If i can do it, u can do it…it takes a brave person to admit they have a problem and to keep trying to solve it so in my eyes u are doing great. Juss take one day at a tym and i believe u will make it!! Find something to occupy ur tym like reading, meetings, talking to someone, listening to music, etc. Im 53 days sober today I’ve made it to almost a year and relapsed and started over so heres to us starting over!!! U GOT THIS!!
~TIPPI 
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Addiction is a sneaky fucker just waiting for a moment of weakness to pounce. This shit is hard. Fact : out of 63 addicts in my wing at rehab only four have maintained sobriety. Seven months down the road. Ask yourself what have you done in the past to get sober? Do you attend meetings? Work the steps? Have a sponsor? I’m certain you can regain your footing. Stay loose and try to stop blaming this and that. You can do this. One foot in front of the other one moment to the next.
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How are things?
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