I am so disappointed in myself. I had almost 2 weeks and was feeling great. So why would I need to use?
I’m feeling really bad. I don’t understand why I have often relapsed when I am feeling good! Now I have to start over again and today is going to be a wasted day because I feel like crap physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I know I can get through this but am just looking for support and getting past the guilt and regret-that its OK and tomorrow is another day.
What has helped you all, if you want to share, when you’re feeling good and like you can handle a drink? I want to stop this cycle and am hoping for some advice.
I read a daily reflection yesterday about how being on dry land is good. The deep end we know we need to take action . But it’s the shallow water that is so tricky. I thought about this yesterday and even discussed it with my psychiatrist! Yet I still gave in to the beast that is my addiction. I should add it’s mainly cocaine that haunts me. I drink after the fact to deal with the edginess. Or use weed tinctures to calm down. It sucks. This is not what I want yet I feel powerless at times.
I just want to forgive myself and get back to my recovery. My sweetheart took his life in early July and I lost my beloved cat in March of last year so its been a rough ride. I finally felt like I was making progress and then here we go again. I am going back to work on Tuesday after a loa and HAVE to hold it together.
The death of my sweetheart will take time to heal but I can’t do it if I’m using.
If your substance is alcohol I think it is right. There is a medication called Naltrexone, made originally for heroin addicts but works for alcohol too. Basically how it works is it blocks alcohols ability to give you any euphoria or buzz etc.
I have been a problem drinking for 10years and from the day I started that med I’ve neither wanted to or actually consumed any alcohol. I’ve heard that’s a particularly favourable response but this drug has “cured” my drinking problem. I was at a 700ml of Jack a day so I was definitely closer to heavy on the scale.
Also if you haven’t tried a long term rehab like 4-12 months I’d really recommend it because it doesn’t just detox you it educates you on your addiction, it prepares you for reality once your out and you can make some great friends (caution if it narcotics DO NOT get any contact info its just another option to score gear when ur clean) and gives time for self reflection and to really analyse your addiction and try to understand how it influences your brain.
Anyway I hope that helps, you can do it mate just remember that there is a lapse and a relapse. If you get pissed one night don’t say fuck it n keep going.
Pick yourself up dust yourself off and try again. There is nothing to gain by letting guilt etc take over. Recovery is a long journey and slip ups are par for the course. I’f you want my email if u want extra support just ask
Its mainly cocaine but alcohol has been present more often lately . I already have depression and anxiety and the combination really messes me up. But sometimes I just want to check out, you feel me?
I feel ya, I’ve tried checking out when the drugs have got me real beat. Meth is my demon and I’m so glad I failed at ending my life because once you manage a period even a month sober, every day you will experience something and you automatically get reminded by your brain that if you had given in for good you’d be missing what’s going on right now. The drugs have warped and twisted your mind and really truly things are never ever as bad as you think.
Please don’t ever do that I don’t even know you and it saddens me to hear another addict feeling those aweful thoughts as I have.
You cannot give up on life, you owe it to yourself and everyone who cares about you to soldier on.
Please look after yourself, your a blessing in more lives that you know.
What country are you in, may be government subsidized long term rehab options. That was my first real step towards my sobriety, and TBH that sobriety is less than 24 hours old. I’m not trying to preach but I’m sharing what I know and my use has gone from daily for 8 years to nothing at all with only 2 short periods of use to date. I relapses last week and I spent couple days in bed just devastated I’d relapses again. But it gets lol easier each attemp
I’m in US. I’ve been to rehab. Both inpatient and outpatient. I have the tools. I just need some support to use them. I am not a daily user, never have been, not saying that makes me better than anyone else but the little binges are a huge problem. I feel like posting here is a huge step forward for me because I have usually just 'dealt with it ’ myself and told no one. I’m sick of living a double life.
First of all dont feel bad. You’re not alone. We’ve all been there. What kept me in “good times” away from bottle is the fact that i know that alc will destroy a good day and make a bad one even worse. I also never let the feeling of “others can have fun and i cant” grow since i know this is a road ive walked so many times and also know where it leads.
The thing is 2 weeks is early. You need to keep up the good work for a bit longer. Cravings and “mental addiction” subside after a while. After that is much much easier.
This morning I feel like a total failure. I have tried so many times since November 2020 to stop my alcohol addiction. I just poured the rest of my JD down the drain. I don’t even know why I keep coming back. I hate this hangover crap. I am going to lose another day. I really just want to sit in my chair and cry. Thanks for listening.
What helped me was realizing that brains are very very lazy and will always ALWAYS take the path of least resistance to feel good. (i.e. using drugs/alcohol)
Even if you know that something is literally killing you, brains don’t care! They just wanna feel good!
So I have spent the last 9 months calling out my lazy, lying brain.
It’s hard work, my brain likes to tell me all the time how I have “done so good” and I “deserve a drink” but I stop and remind myself that my brain doesn’t always have my best interest at heart, it just wants to follow the path of least resistance and take that drink, use that substance.
It sounds silly, but being aware of the neuro chemistry behind addiction and how brains can rationalize using a substance while killing themselves helped me immensely and I hope it helps you.
Keep coming back, I know you can do this!
When you start feeling good again that is that danger time. Excuses come and the bad times fade. Double down on those tools. I play the tape through, alcohol or ur doc will only TAKE the good feeling.
Your not a failure. You’re an alcoholic Our minds are so wrapped around that security bottle that we never think we can function without it. For me I can play out every step of my day/night if I pick up a drink. They were all the same. Then when I had a lot of good days strung together it was almost like I thought "hey, this is great but surely I can’t feel this good forever " We can though. Today while your setting there feeling so bad just remember that this can be the last time you feel like this. Hugs my friend
My mind is wired differently. Others might be able to have a drink or two but I can’t stop. I know that. There will never be a point where I can drink responsibly. That’s the facts. We’ve just programmed ourselves to think that way. So for me I’ll just go day by day and be grateful. Let go of the guilt and get determined that this is the last time you’ll feel like this. Nothing good has ever come from alcohol. Hang in there!
I am that way too. I can’t stop till I pass out. I have lost friends. Some in my family won’t talk to me. I feel alone. Thanks for the hugs and my friend
. I already have depression and anxiety and the combination really messes me up. But sometimes I just want to check out, you feel me?
Our minds are so wrapped around that security bottle that we never think we can function without it. For me I can play out every step of my day/night if I pick up a drink. They were all the same. Then when I had a lot of good days strung together it was almost like I thought "hey, this is great but surely I can’t feel this good forever " We can though. Today while your setting there feeling so bad just remember that this can be the last time you feel like this. Hugs my friend 