Relapsed and had to reset my timer yesterday

Relapse is not part of recovery, it’s part of addiction.

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Getting help and counciling is a great step. The only thing I would like to add hopefully will out you feeling attacked, but saying it was drink or suicide, drinking is only going to make the thoughts of suicide and depression worsen. I know bc I was a chronic relapser and tried killing myself 3 times through my last couple of relapses. I have also felt very alone and scared and like I couldn’t do sobriety anymore, but drinking would of only made me more suicidal. So good job on giving it another try, keep pushing through those lonely thoughts, that’s how we can help find ourselves and find clarity in sobriety.

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I wasn’t trying to get offended earlier. I just felt it was being implied that I wasn’t trying hard enough. I take all the advice y’all offer so that I can add it to my tools to make sure a relapse doesn’t happen again. (Also this was only my 1st one since I have came to the app) I do understand that was a harsh either or situation. I would never kill myself. I was just deep in a depression I had barely eaten and was crying all the time and just wanted for it to be over in that moment and that was how I ended up drinking. Thank you for your advice. I appreciate all I learn from y’all. Sometimes I just feel like the people who have a lot of sober time are harsh on people struggling to get sober time.

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Hi Jennifer,
That’s true in my opinion. Some people tend to forget how hard early sobriety can be, is or will be.
We need to be humble and grateful to be here and be able to find new ways to live a happy life and face all that life has for us.

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I really do understand. Even at 285 days, I’m still in early recovery I don’t see me as having alot of days sober. I still have alot of really hard days. It may seem harsh, but it might be because we see alot in you? I know what it’s like to feel that pain your feeling. But by pushing through that pain, we over come it. When we give into the pain, we then have to keep feeling it all over again. So if you make it to 100 days and relapse, sure you made a 100 days and you didn’t lose those days. But all that work all that pain, all the spiritual growing you did is gone and your back right at the start and have to feel it all over again. It’s not going to get easier the next time. And you named some of your triggers, you were depressed, hungry? Did the alcohol take any of that away for you? Probably not, it more likely made it much worse and turned into a emotional rollercoaster. Next time try to eat some good food, chocolate, cake, go for a nice nature walk to get help with the depression, even if your not feeling it just do it… I use to always say to my mom, you think I’m not fucking trying. You think I like being addicted, you think I like wanting to kill myself. Truth was, I actually wasn’t trying hard enough. By the grace of my higher power some how im here now sober. And you will be too. The important thing is you did come back and are not giving up. I’m proud of you.

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Your right 100 percent on that.

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In my defense I haven’t forgotten how painfull early sobriety is.
I’ve been there. I felt the endless need to drink for days on end, the continued fights with myself. The self doubt, the shame, the fucked up head!
But I didn’t give in. Otherwise I’d probably not be here now.
It takes some serious self searching, self care and self awareness to get sober.
As I said, I apologise if I came across harsh before.

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You relapsed you didn’t fail. You’re not back at step one. You’re still further than you were six months ago. It was a stumble get back up brush yourself off and keep going forward Bud.

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You didn’t fail, you fell. Get back up. Relapse is part of recovery. You’re still here and you’re important. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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So now that you’re resetting, what do you think you can add to your approach to recovery to help you avoid a relapse this time? What support or assistance can you get to help you deal with the low points without using? I’m glad you made it back here.

There’s a few “Relapse is a part of recovery” replies on here. Relapse is using. It’s active addiction. It’s the opposite of recovery and what we’re aiming to accomplish here. I’m sure these replies are meant to show support, but I think it’s a dangerous phrase to throw around. Newer folks could see it as an “out” to relapse, like “well, it IS a part of recovery”. Granted everyone is responsible for their own choices, I just get concerned when I see it being talked about like it’s a casual thing that happens. It is serious and doesn’t have to be a part of your recovery journey. A lot of people don’t ever make it back from a relapse, or take a long time to find their footing in sobriety again.

Of course we should welcome back people who’ve relapsed offer support and advice. But it’s NOT part of recovery and it doesn’t have to be a part of your story.

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Not everyone is in the same place or on the journey. It’s kind that you’re concerned about other people’s sobriety. And that’s great! The thing is if they are going to perceive the statement as an out they were looking for an out to start with. I can’t help that. But I won’t pretend I don’t understand how it feels to relapse. That when I have relapsed I already felt broken worthless and filled with shame. I don’t need someone to remind me who I’m not. I need to be reminded I’m human I make mistakes and bad choices and I’m worth trying again.

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Your not weak! You just feel weak now. A weak person doesn’t admit to their wrongs, only someone very strong can do that. Keep your chin up, everydays a new day. As others have said use this as a lesson. Like a pair of socks my mom once gave me said, “screwing up is part of the program”. Stay safe, you are loved and cared about. Try not to beat yourself up to much about it.

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Sending good vibes your way! :revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

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I know what it’s like to relapse, as well. I’ve had an embarrassing amount of relapses. I’m not saying don’t be compassionate and to not support those who’ve slipped when they come back. I thought that was clear in my reply.

I also said it’s every individual’s choice if they want to read into something and use it as an out. I just think I’ll do my part to not tell people that it’s “part of recovery”. Because I don’t see how I’m helping them with that particular phrase.

So personally, I’m not going to tell someone that repeating the behavior that is harming them, is part of their recovery from that behavior.

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I don’t view the statement as an encouragement to continue using. It’s a perspective thing. You were clear.

Relapse isnt a part of recover people who say that dont have a concept of recovery !!
relapse happens in recovery , so after 34 years sober i havnt relapsed yet so i havnt recovered ???.

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Mmm yes Mike is right on. @Runningfree I see a lot in you too. :raised_hands:

Life is up and down left and right and sometimes we get down, down, way down. It feels impossible to hold it together, in shape, in one place.

You know what else is always changing shape and form and place?

Water. Crazy stuff can’t hold it together! :joy:

Seriously though - water has that humility and that flow, to take on the shape it needs, and move, flow, to where it needs to be. And that’s you: flowing, breathing, living, in the often-unpredictable, but always capable places you need to be.

You’re a river of life and vitality Jenn. It is scary and unknown, often. But trust your natural flow. You will find what you need.

Take care sister and keep it up!

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Dust yourself off and don’t beat yourself about it.

I’m with ya bro

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There is not always a trigger. I appreciate Jamesyb in his honesty. There are times when I have relapsed when I have just been WEAK.

Period.

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@Ray_M_C_Laren no and I think it’s great that you never relapsed. May of us aren’t so lucky. And I think your recovery is just as valid without it.

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