For me, I had to change my relationships. I would say I actually have better and more fulfilling friendships than I had before. They’re more purposeful: I choose who I want to develop a friendship with, and I work on the friendship.
I have had to sever some relationships that were not healthy for me. At the time I worried a lot about cutting that connection but after some time has passed, I realize the friendship was not as deep or as substantial as I thought it was.
These are not the choices I had to make. I suspect they are not the choices you actually have to make, either.
You are feeling very discouraged because of your relapse, and that’s understandable. You are not thinking clearly right now (which is also understandable). No one in your situation would be thinking clearly; you are not alone.
You are doing black-and-white thinking - saying ‘if I can’t drink I can’t have friends’ - and it isn’t helping you because friendships are not black and white. Healthy friendships are about healthy choices. One of your healthy choices is to be sober and to live in recovery. (You’ve tried not being sober and it doesn’t work for you.) This is good because drugs - including alcohol - can be poisonous. You are making a choice to be healthy.
Your next choice is about which friendships you will develop that will support your healthy choice. There are groups here where you can make friends with people in recovery:
Talking Sober is a nice place to meet people too.
Don’t give up. And don’t think black-and-white. Be open to recovery and be open to learning from and meeting new people. You will be surprised at how big the change is for you.