I am not sure if it counts as relapse as I have lately only been able to remain sober for about 3 days, but I drank last night until I passed out and I feel awful today. Partially due to being hung over, but also because I drank. I don’t want to drink. I have so many reasons not to, but that does not seem to matter when I am stressed or bored or proud of myself and wanting to celebrate.
I am proud of myself for getting up and dragging myself to work despite wanting to spend the day in bed…but I feel really defeated. I do not know who to talk to or how to tell my family and friends. I have stated that I want to stop drinking and requested help from family members. But I have not told them how bad it is.
I need help, but I am not comfortable (or desperate enough?) To attend AA meetings. But I need someone to talk to and get help from.
What do you all do beside meetings to manage the cravings and insidious thoughts?
Hi pal and welcome. Your story sounds a lot like mine. Want to not drink. But don’t know how to not drink.
Can I ask you a question? What can your family do to help you? Or friends? What are they not doing to help you? And last, do they know how to stop drinking?
I know that for me, my family and friends didn’t know how to help me quit drinking. They didn’t know how to quit drinking. So how in the world would they help me to stop. That would be like teaching someone to read, when you don’t know how to read yourself.
Now I’m sure you will get lots of replies here to go to the gym, or get a hobby. Or read this book or that. All great things. But at the end of the day I believe that it takes an alcoholic to help another alcoholic. It takes learning how to quit drinking from someone that has successfully quit drinking.
There’s people like that here. There’s people like that at meetings too. You say you aren’t desperate enough for that but you may get there. That would be a true gift of desperation. There’s people there like you. Just like here.
Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
Telling my spouse about my sober plan
Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
Having a day counter
Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
Taking a strong vitamine B complex
Taking melatonin to help me sleep
Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
Ask for help when I need it.
Be here every day to read and check in sober.
Maybe you can find help by following online meetings? SMART has them.
Your family and friends can’t help. I’m one year sober and my family thinks it’s easy to quit: just stop drinking. Only addicts themselves knows how hard it it, that’s why I’m here.
Yeah I’ve been there too.
I had to get desperate.
I asked my dr for medication to help with the cravings
Told my family to help keep me accountable
Got busy reading about quiting
Finally decided to go to AA this is where I found my people lol
Lots of work but you can do it
I’m back on day 1 as well, but I think a big help for me is being honest with my family and friends, not just telling them I’m not drinking anymore, but telling them WHY. Friends now know not to offer me a drink on a night out, my boyfriend now knows no wine at dinner, my mum now knows not to ask me what I’m having when she serves me at our local (she works there) and automatically pours me a glass of cordial.
If you feel the need to celebrate, treat yourself to something else, buy yourself a book, have a long relaxing bath, go to the gym. There are other ways to celebrate. I am learning this myself.
I relapsed twice, lost my job, home, money, & family before finally giving in & going to a treatment center. There are a lot of good ones out there. When I came back I set up weekly counseling sessions and go to 1-3 AA meetings a day. Now that I’m back to work I can only go to 1 or 2 meetings a day, but I make damn sure that I go, cuz for me, that’s one hour i know i won’t drink and their support and stories help me. I also asked my doctor to put me on antabuse. It stops the cravings & if you drink while taking it, you get reeeeeeeeally sick. Trust me I’m a nurse & took care of a patient that drank while on it & he was miserable for a good 2 days. There are resources out there and good people in these programs that can help you if you want the help. Good luck & let me know if you have any questions or need suggestions or just someone to talk to. We are all in this together!!!