Relapsed on the thc vape pen again

Ugh my stomach is filled with anxiety and aches

I did more resurch last night on marijuana dependency.

Obviously the higher the amounts of THC make getting dependent easier.

It also said that with early starting like at age 13 like me makes getting dependent easier.

It didn’t help my schizophrenia at all. Auditory hullusanations were loud.

Today I’m exosted with a stomach ache

I really dont mean to make anyone aggravated with me. In the moment I can really rationalize it making me want to pick it up

I gave the vape pen away like I always do because I know it’s trash

I shouldn’t have picked it up

Now I’m day 1 no THC or weed
But I do have 134 days no alcohol


Is there anything in particular that leads up to the purchase? When i started out on this journey I journaled, and it was eye opening on what started me craving.


It’s definitely my addict behavior that leads up to it

I get it in my head I want to do it
Then I ask my poor wife if she’d be upset and she says she doesn’t want me to but then addict mode comes out and I convince her I need it. Is that a type of manipulation? That’s the last thing id want to do with anyone. So the cravings get tough and I run. Typical me

I guess it’s a choice I make to pick it up. But that choice feels like it’s made by someone else.

It’s hard to explained
When I tell myself I want it it feels like I make my mind up very quick


I get where you are coming from. I wish i could help you in some way.


Don’t be too down on yourself. 134 days with no alcohol is incredible and shows you have the will to give up addictive substances. Is there anything you can learn from your journey giving up alcohol that you can apply to the thc/weed?


Sorry it took so long to respond
I just woke up from a nap

Well on alcohol I am out of control. The last time I drank I was very angry which isn’t like me

On weed I get totally lost. Honestly I tried other harder drugs but nothing has ever hit me like weed does. I’ve definitely tried some nasty stuff but the highest I’ve ever been was a weed or THC high. It’s weird…

So I think I have lack of control in my actions a lot.

What can I apply from staying away from alcohol. I haven’t applied anything to quit weed in past attempts. I think looking at them like they are classed the same will help. I also have to journal more

I think if I can do a journal a day it will help a lot. Now I just have to do it

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