Welcome!! I used to absolutely see myself as a chronic relpaser. I couldn’t even get past 3 days honestly. I had so many white key tags from meetings that I decorated my Xmas tree with them one year lmao it’s tough to get past certain hurdles but not impossible. Ultimately, for me… I had to start changing what I did each day. Change the routine, do things differently. Try new recovery related things. I had to look what was going on in my life each day, that created that urge to use. In the beginning there was a physical craving. But after a certain point, it’s all about the obsession and the lies our addict minds tell us. I also has to look at my reservations around getting clean. What is holding me back? What am I fewrful of? A huge reservaton for me in the beginning was thinking that I needed somethifn to cope with emotions. Having reservations like these is like leaving the door open for the past to come in. It was all these scenarios in my mind, where I pretty much kept holding on to using drugs as a “solution”. Understanding that I am powerless over drugs is key. I do this every morning. Knowing I can’t even have 1. Then filling my day with positive healthy people, positive thoughts, positive actions. If I struggle, I reach out instantly. Don’t sit there and stew on it. Get help! You CAN get thru this relapse cycle. Stay connected 
Try a meeting. If you can’t do it the way you have been trying, try something else. You got this.
Welcome! This place saved my life and is a great first step! Be active, loads of advice here.
Idk how serious you are but i take a medication called Anabuse. Its extremely helpful- it doesnt do anything to me at all except for if i drink. If i drank on this, ill get violently ill. Im talking the worst sickness youve ever had but if i stay sober, everythings all good. If it seems like something that you think would help you, id suggest bringing it up to your doctor and see what they think.
Im to a point in my sobreity where I trust myself not to drink. But anabuse is my safety net. I just know that i cant.
Also, just so you know, there is a science behind why we have a hard tine quitting- it is a disease. Cut yourself some slack, and ask for help. You deserve peace. And theres a ton of people out here who want to help just to see you happy. Good people yanno
Ive just reset again for I don’t know how many times. Right now I’m setting small goals. I’m going for three days sober the take it from there. Small steps.
Welcome!
Read around, good stuff here to start and maintain recovery. use the searchbar for keyword look up.
I hear you. I keep relapsing again and again. I feel like I need to lock myself up to stop. I feel so week. I really need to stop before something really bad happens.
May be helpful to get professional help and inpatient detox and rehab. You can call your GP to talk about opportunities at your place.
Same I’m back on day 1:sob:
Welcome! What will you do to make it stick this time? Great stuff to read around here on TS. Use the searchbar above for specific keywords e.g. ressources for recovery.
Wish you well.
Them…I’m new to this app so I have no clue how to work this thing and idk what I’ll do different😭
Totally been there myself. Ten plus years of it. What Dana said was all so true especially for me, the part about reaching out as soon as I crave!! I’m on day 8! I think I made it this far 4 years ago and then relapsed. Not this time. This place has also made all the difference. Keep scrolling, keep reading, keep sharing and totally reach out whenever you need to. There are so many people here to support you, give advice, and inspire. I honestly feel like if I can do it, you can do it. I really didn’t think I could. I was sooooo angry at myself. Honestly just wanted to just give up on life. Today, on my 8 th day, I’m waking up on cloud nine. Life is getting better and better. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s all been worrh it. I feel kind of silly saying that after only 8 days, but this has been a constant battle for so long , so 8 days for me is so HUGE and I can’t tell you how amazing I feel everytime I beat a craving. Glad you’re hear 
Hey girl, I’m sorry u relapsed 
it feels so defeating but don’t give up! Look back at what happened. Make ur relapse a learning experience. What happened that brought on those using thots? Was it emotions? A person? Seeing something that reminded you? If u can go back and see what happened, then u can create a plan for future similar situations. Maybe it’ll show u what u need to add into ur recovery OR take away? For example: adding meetings(in person or online or maybe its showing u to ask for help 1st before u pick up)… or maybe it’s getting rid of certain stressors or removing a toxic friend? Idk what ur situation is exactly… but relapsing doesn’t have to be necessarily a bad thing. We can learn from it
Yes Dana! Getting rid of toxic relationships is soooo key. I finally got rid of that toxic client I had mentioned. Seeing her twice a week for almost the last ten years too!! I feel so free. Never wanted to lose on a a great contribution to my income, but my health is wayyyyy more important!!!
Oh yay girl!!! Thay makes me sooo happy to hear this! Really proud of you that must have not been easy
No it’s wasn’t easy, but easier than I thought it would be… You see, she had a bit of a tantrum, and started being very aggressive with her words and actions which confirmed with me why I had to let her go. She had just paid for another set of sessions, and when she started going on at me I simply said " I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m going to go home and refund your payment and I wish you all the best in the future"
She proceeded to follow me to my car saying"don’t you walk away from me" and I just repeated what I said before and got in my car and drove home:clap:
Omg girl!!! Thats not ok what she did. Super disrespectful!!! U don’t need that and I’m so glad u listened to ur instincts and let her go! Amazing work
First I threw out all the alcohol. Had a good dinner and trying to focus on one moment at a time. I will try not to look too far in the future and will come on this site as much as I can. I heard the book the naked mind is good and will get a copy. Also I will attend a zoom meeting. One day at a time I will work on my sobriety.
So good to read this! I agree with @Butterflymoonwoman, removing toxic people is such a relief. And creates space for healing and new people to enter one’s life 