Relationships and recovery

in need of some real advice.
i have been in treatment and recovery for two months now and i am on pre trial at the moment. since i have been clean i have recently tried to reconnect with my kids father … i was hesitant at first because the way we ended was real ugly but now i am feeling crazy because he is my only person intalk to period i am on house arrest Nd here latelt he has just been driving me on this rollercoaster because one min everything will b fine then the next its some bs someone who has been around me has said that its unhealthy and now i am starting to see what they were saying but now i am in a situation where i have my feelings involved and i am so vunerable right now i dont know what to do but i feel like things afe going to go sour because he has started to become distant and been crushing my feelings with his accusations. i have been nothing but supportive and encouraging to him ans he has helped me so much thus far i feel like in order to keep my sanity i jay have to separate myself from this situation it is going tonl cause me to go backwards but i reAlly sant us to work things out as well
help? advice?

u may not b a mind reader but u sure read my mind, ur words have just helped me put everything into perspective. thank you for that i have never tried these forums but u have no idea how much what uve said just gave me a chilling epiphany…while i am still hurt i feel like i must clean myself of these emotions. its like dealing with a break up all over again but because he has been the only one there for me in my time of desperate need i am hurting just like i hurt detoxing from heroin i see that i have placed him high on a pedestal and my self esteem, worth and everything has plummeted since things have suddenly changed. im so scared of being alone and right now thata what i am feeling alone it hurts so much worse because where do i go from here 3 days ago i had my mind made up that i was done living went to a website and it said to give it three days…that part i have done but now i feel even worse i didnt do myself any justice by allowing him to become my everything i have lied and cheated on him in the past when all i was worried about was getting high but in return he put me in the hospital and i have never tried to remind him of his wrong doings because i had my own faults but now that i am down an weak i have given him all the power and im just as hurt i have given him everything that i have emotionally and physically now im just stuck.

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