Hey everyone, ive reset again. I started to give up on the sobriety thing again, and it really must not have done me much good. Ever since my birthday on the 3rd, i haven’t quite been me, I haven’t been able to think straight or focus, and it feels like I have brain damage or something, I can’t remember certain things, and I’ve just overall been worrying about my mental status, I have a major fear of going crazy, and I tend to be a hypochondriac about those kinds of things, I’m always on google searching up things like “why can’t I think straight” “memory loss symptoms” and I do those tests to see if I’m bipolar or crazy or something like that. I also started smoking weed again, which did me even worse, my memory is worse, my paranoia is worse, and it turned off my empathy I think. I love my girlfriend very much, but I’ve been treating her poorly, and I struggle to feel for her. It makes me sad because I love her very much, and me and her are on a break right now, and it feels like she’s losing affection for me. I’ve been debating going to a hospital or something like that. I’m 18 now so I can’t just go to a program like I did when I got weed psychosis. to sum it up all together. Im really scared right now. I just want to think straight again, feel mentally stable, and just live my life. Can anyone please help me? I’m desperate
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Thank you so much, I’m gonna try and go to a doctor soon when I can. I just don’t have the money for medications or anything, so I’m pretty scared. Thank you so much for getting pack to me
As said above, drop Google and replace it with a real doctor or psychologist 
Many of us did or still do. Without mine, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been here.
Drink or drugs will disrupt your brain terribly. I was extremely touchy, forgetful, etc when drinking. I was so busy putting all my energy into maintaining my front of functioning, I had little surplus to do much else. Quitting helped a lot, but like many, proper prescribed medication was also needed. Are you in the US? I know it is super expensive.