Reset…again. I dont even know how many times that is now. Ugh, I feel like a piece of shit.
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A while ago, I tried quitting and over and over again I failed. What was holding me back? My desire to quit. I knew I needed to, but I didn’t want to. I was holding myself back.
So, let me ask you, what’s holding you back?
You don’t have to answer here if you don’t want to, but you do need to answer to yourself.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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I literally have no clue what’s holding me back. By the end of the week I’m usually just done and the only thing to make me feel better is drinks. It’s like I dont think, I just do it.
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Do you have alcohol in the house, or are you buying it at the end of the week?
Buying it usually.
Doesn’t sound like it’s making you feel better though.
What did you used to do before drinks? Something you absolutely enjoyed, something you have in a crate because it hasn’t been done in a while.
It helps when you have something to look forward to.
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Maybe you’re burning yourself out during the week. Every day you should be focusing on your sobriety. That should be at the forefront of your mind. And that includes doing things that work towards your sobriety. By the end of the week you have the “fuck it” mentality what do you do to avoid that?
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That’s a great question to ask one’s self. I was there too. My issue right now is the parties and vacation…like in a couple of days. I want to drink but I don’t want to drink. Grrrrr…so I get the desire to quit but not want to quit right now.
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I’m also a tired mom and I do the exact same thing. By the end of the week I’m stressed, tired and done with it all. After kids are sleeping I usually start drinking. I thought drinking was my only vice to help relax but boy was I wrong. Drinking never helps in the end. I reset the clock yesterday. I’ve also done this multiple times. I took a break from this app thinking there was no hope until Friday night I downed a 26 of rye to myself in under three hours my husband said. He doesn’t drink. It was a big eye opener for me. That’s the most I’ve ever dranken in one sitting. I was horrified and disgusted. I woke up yesterday feeling like death lingered if I continued this destructive path. People use to say that I wasn’t an alcoholic because I didn’t drink everyday but I knew deep down I was and that it had become a major problem. What once was the occasional weekend with some drinks here and there became a 26 to myself in a matter of hours every weekend. My husband said Friday night before I passed out I said look at me I’m Mr. Layhee not sure if that’s how you spell it but you know trailer park boys? Although funny in some messed up way I couldn’t help but think that what I said was in fact true. I had become a weekend binge drinker. Drink drink drink until I passed out. I’m embarrassed to admit this because this is not the person I want to be. After I hit the reset button yesterday I knew that was the last time I would reset it again. The other times I wanted to quit but I think deep down I wasn’t quite ready yet. Today I feel a lot more confident then I ever have to quit drinking. I’m sick with a nasty cold on top of the dreadful hangover still wanting to remind me of Fridays drinking but it reminds me of what I don’t want. This is not going to be easy love and I wish I could give better advice. Perhaps we can keep each other accountable here? Feel free to message me anytime. You CAN and WILL do whatever you put your mind too. Much love. 
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This has been my modus operandi the last few months also… until this past week. I haven’t solved anything but I did walk my ass back into a meeting last Monday, got some contacts and have chatted with folks to keep me honest. If I go it alone, I’m simply going to say, f it and start all over again. I know I can eventually be happy joyous and free; but that’s only because I witness it in others that I know have same issue. I can process that if I stick with it; I’ll get there as I’ve been there before.
You can too. I used this board to get a running start back into meaningful sobriety out living amongst others in society. Whatever works for you but I’m happy to find myself a few contacts recently that share my goals. That’s the only thing that will work for me long term. You can do this!
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Yes, that would be great actually. As sad as it is, sometimes I feel like I need someone to hold me accountable. This is so frustrating
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One of the things that keeps me sober when I get an urge is knowing how I will feel the next morning. I don’t mean physically but mentally and emotionally. I would hate myself and feel like I let so many people down. Try thinking about that next time @Tiredmom09
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I will definitely try to remember that
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This is good useful stuff. Work it man. Babies to learn to walk by watching others walk. There are stumbles and falls, but eventually they get and then they’re running around.
Wow you are absolutely right. Makes sense!
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Are you ready to try AA yet?
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Hi @Tiredmom09 . I do smart meetings. One of the tools we use is hierarchy of values… think of the 5 most important things in your life and write them down… e.g. kids, family etc…
If you have not done this before then you most probably did not choose alcohol…! But in reality people like us do put our doc above everything! I know I did…!
If you look at alcohol as the most dangerous thing in your life which could destroy all that you value it might help you make a better choice… good luck 
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This was me on Thursday. Ready to say fuck it. I texted my sponsor and she reminded me “we only drink on a lie.” You’re lying to yourself that the drinking makes you feel better.
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It makes me feel better in the moment. It’s what comes after that sucks.
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