I had fun and was responsible. I am still mad at myself tho. My coworkers were doing shots at close, then we all went out. Idk. Drinking is such a social part of my job! I didn’t want to be left out. Ugh. Why is this so hard? I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard.
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Good morning @couchpup. Take it easy. Don’t tear yourself down. This did happen,it is your reality. As I say to everyone it’s your choice what to be ,a moderate drinker or go stone cold. You haven’t chosen stone cold yet,but that’s o. K. You are on the road to deciding what you want to do. Please keep in mind if you are an alcoholic a lot of times moderate drinking leads to much worse. Try to get calm today and figure your next move.
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@NewFuture makes some good points @couchpup, and forgive me if this comes over as being hard, it’s not meant to be, but your last comment did make me chuckle, ‘I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard’.
If only, eh!
It’s early days, maybe you’re just weren’t ready to commit to something as hugely difficult as sobriety at that point. There’s always another chance when you are ready.
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I want to be ready, especially being on here I see the benefits of it to my life. Idk. I’m sick of numbing myself but also scared to feel.
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I am really bad at moderating my drinking. Ugh. It always seems to end up a shit show.
Yeah, that is what being an alcoholic is all about. No moderation for us, eventually (or right off) it just leads back down the rabbit hole.
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“Drinking is such a social part of my job.”
“Hah!”, scoffs Quitter.
I am sorry this isnt a very productive reply to you. In time you will realise that that statement is a falacy.
There is no job in the world where excessive drinking is part of the job. Unless you are a human guinea pig? On a clinical trial, testing the effects of excessive alcohol consumption?
I hope everything works out for you.
I am glad you reset the counter. Trying again and again will lead to success. Good luck.
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Completely off track after 8 clean days of hell. The hard part is not knowing when I’ll get back on track ;
@couchpup it took me a few tries to get to two weeks sober and I accomplished it this weekend (so far). Don’t be hard on yourself. It happens. I went out today with friends who drank. Every drink they had I wanted one so bad but didn’t. I’ve been a big wierdo in some situations because I do odd things when fighting my mind not to drink. I tried to quit a little more than a month ago and relapsed a few times. Last one ended in a 24 hour cocaine and drinking binge. I’ve been sober since. Take it one minute at a time and use the negative feelings you have now to your benefit. Remember them next time you have an urge. Remember how it felt and WHEN you success to attain your goals, which you will because I have faith in you, you will feel 
times better. A mile is walked one inch at a time
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Get used to feeling left out. I know that’s a hard message, but so much of our culture revolves around getting high in some way that you never will fully be a part of it again. What you can do is be happy with yourself and who you are, and that you escaped the cycle.
A thought on what I found from my blog:
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Reset my counter today after 8 days as well. The drinking was unnecessary, but I did it anyway. We are ok. We can do this again. My friend told me “fall down 7 times, get up 8”.
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