I had 1yr 10 mos sober, 3 mos smoke-free when I learned my oldest daughter was murdered. I still have 4 yrs 7 mos clean from meth by the skin of my teeth & God’s grace. I’ve gotten drunk & smoked several times but I know it’s not helping me grieve. The whole trying to stay sober, drinking, wanting to get sober, drinking obsession was starting to consume me but last night as I was in the middle of it God showed me I was doing that to keep me from thinking about my daughter & mourning her loss. Like as long as I was occupied with the whole cycle of addiction I didn’t have to think about her. So today I’m turning to God, this app & I’m seeking professional help. I can do hard things with God on my side.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter in a violent way! What a shock that must have been. It sounds like you really have the desire to stop drinking which is good. Keep coming back to the forum and reading and commenting. There’s a lot of wisdom and help here. Can you also do some type of meeting for support? AA or SMART of Recovery Dharma? Wishing you the best on your journey and glad you are here!
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Good for you for deciding enough is enough. Seeking support. This place is an awesome support. Come here often.
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