Returner and back at day 1

Hello all, i am returning after quite some time. i had 7 months sober then fell of the wagon, then attempted to try again 5 months later, i made it to 40 days and then after a bad break up i started drinking again that was 9 months ago. In the past i have always thought i had my drinking under control because i would wait til i had done all my work, mom, and life duties and then would drink shot after shot til i fall asleep. Its been a dirty secret of mine. I have been drinking hard liquor every single night for years. I have accomplished many things that have seemed impossible. however, i know that i could do so much more in life if i wasn’t milking a bad hangover every day. I know that i am an alcoholic functioning or not im not the person i want to be and alcohol is by biggest enemy. This group has been my only chance at success for sobriety. So here i am again trying to hold myslef accountable and hoping be here for good.

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Welcome back! 7 months is something to be proud of. You can do, this we all can. 7 months is roughly where I’m at and I’m gunning for that 12 months. Keep at it and talk to us as needed, good luck :smile:

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Thank but i had 7 months, i am currently at day 1 now.

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Just hop back on the wagon!! You made it did far before I’m only on day 10. The feeling is great. Yea most my friends didn’t know i drank like i did because is do it at home alone

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Good luck friend, what new things are you planning to try this time? I added honesty with my family and psychiatrist, 12-step meetings, professional treatment through rehab etc., and finally got over the relapse hump that way. It took a lot of change but it is so worth it! Rally your support and make some big moves, I think your next sober stretch could be the longest yet :slight_smile:

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Hi there i can relate to your story and also back at day 1 grateful to be alive and for meetings that I can go to hard work ahead but I do know that if I put as much energy as I did into using and drinking into staying sober now its possible no more self hate and guilt Just for Today Day by Day

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The time is now.

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Thanks its hard struggling behind close doors. I don’t think my family and friends would understand. So many people don’t know what its like to not be able to have a single drink and not go back into a full daily binge. For me there is all or nothing and i assume this will be a life long battle

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Honestly this is a wonderful question. I have no idea at the moment but changes are definitely needed.

I never thought of it as self hate but your very much right. Self love is not putting toxic harmful products into your body. Im not sure how i got this point but here a am and chnage is needed.

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Exactly, those next 7 will be equly as fulfilling as the first only you don’t need to drink at the end, you can just smash another 7, then another because you deserve it and you’ll forgive yourself and love yourself, and you’ll enjoy it

what were the changes and benefits in your life that you would say resulted from your seven months of sobriety? I am @ day 1 too and despite previous attempts, i have yet to make it past 2 wks

I can certainly relate to your all or nothing. All you can do is get back on the wagon and learn from your last experience (which it sounds like you did and have done before). Keep at it you know what the right thing to do for you is

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I haven’t had many changes. I started drinking after a divorce. My ex left my kids and me and moved out of state. He took everything i owned and every last dollar. I married him straight out of high school. Never worked, never went school and was left with 3 kids. It was sooo awful. I was so overwhelmed and stressed and drinking became my nightly me time. However that was 8 years ago. I have since found a career, went to community college, graduated and transferred to a prestigious university, ive replaced eveything and done it all on my own. Yet i still was drinking daily. Life has changed and i feel like i am at a place i would have dreamed to be when i began drinking. Like if my life was the way it is now i wouldn’t have began. Yet here i am and like you stated earlier the self hate is continuous still. The only way i was able to quite before was for my kids. I would do anything for them. Yet my one slip turned into ill stop tomorrow, next week, on the 1st, after the holiday and then here i am once again a half a year later. With not even a full day under my belt.

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Welcome home!

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The first night was veey veey restless…i felt very anxious and im not sure on exactly how much sleep i actually got. Any tips?

I downloaded insight timer last night and gave it a try when i was restless at 3am. It helped, will most likely be more helpful once i use it more frequently.

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Thank you i will look into it.

No shame. Be proud of the 7 months you were sober and start over.

I have fallen off the wagon so many times I cannot count them but I see every sober day as an oppurtunity to keep going and strive for a sober life. I cannot even imagine what it is like to be 7 months sober but I am hoping for it.

Thank you for your honesty…and if no one has told you today, I am proud of you <3

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Thank you so much for your kidness. I am so greatful for this app and people like you.

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