Focus on steps 1 2 and 3. Don’t waste your energy on what you do not have control over. Focus on your sobrierty and have gratitude for the good. You’re alive, you’re healthy. Nobody is perfect. Sure your family may not have gone about getting you sober the right way but no family is perfect nor is any human. At the end of the day you have to hope they weren’t trying to put you in harms way. Optimism is key. Have a blessed day 
I remember a friend telling me in early sobriety, “you just need to be angry until you are not angry anymore.” You can insert any emotion into that “anger” field. Sounds so simple yet it is so profound. Talking about it and speaking it out into the universe helps. It’s a healthy way to purge. God is not a punishing God. Maybe pray for him to change/soften their hearts. Perhaps to soften your heart?? Perhaps a perspective shift?? I believe in time these things will sort themselves out, so long as you just keep truckin. I thank my “enemies”. If you can call them that…(we are all brothers and sisters through Christ)…but I thank them if for nothing else, for teaching me of what or whom I never want to be. Now that you are sober, YOU can be the easier softer nudge for someone else whom is struggling. You can perhaps be the voice next time that quiets the “force” being imposed on somebody else. After your anger subsides…perhaps you can go to these people and explain how you feel. It may not matter or seem immediately effective, but the seed will be planted. There are 2 sides to every story and by that(putting it very matter of factly), I mean. People. With people(the story). There are two sides, at least, to them all. Angels and demons, so to speak. Anger brings about their demons. Love and understanding brings about their angels. Their angels will illuminate once you can see from a “calm” perspective. This may take time. Give yourself time. Give yourself space. Allow yourself to feel your “feels” and maybe reapproach the situation at a later date and time. Sometimes tis best to walk away and allow yourself a chance to grow, without the triggers of the negative outside influences/ers. Sound like you are doing a fantastic job and I am proud of you!!! Peace be with you:pray:
Here it is im still clean and there still at it. Ive lost trust in people, and na and most of all my family.it was once said hell was paved with good intentions or something like that. No matter the case a lie is a lie no matter for the good or bad. Im white knucling it and dont no how much longer i can hold on. My higher power god is all i have and thats all i need right now. I pray everyday tbat they will get honest but we will see.
I think for your own sake that you NEED to let it go. It is in the past. You can’t change the past. Focus on today. Even though you feel as though they tricked you into it you are still sober so you must agree that you needed to quit. Forget about how this all came about and focus on your recovery.
In the Lord’s prayer it says “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”. This is important. We are not perfect. We have made our own fair share of mistakes. If we want others (and God) to forgive our mistakes we must also forgive them their mistakes.
A guy at my speaker meeting talked about praying for his ex-wife. It was not a good divorce but his sponsor told him to pray for his wife everyday for x number of weeks (I forget how long). It started with:
“Dear God, give that %&$* everything she deserves.”
…then it was…
“Dear God, give to her everything she needs.”
…then finally it was…
“Dear God, give her everything she asks for.”
Just by saying a prayer to her everyday he learned to let go of the resentments and see the whole picture. He may have had to give more than he thought he should in the divorce but he was no longer angry about it. He was even happy for her now. And as a result he was happier.
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I’ve read something similar on here before as well Sue.
@Justme82, man you seriously have to let go buddy. Holding resentment and anger like that is not going to do you any good. Just concentrate on yourself, one day at a time.
Thank you for that. I pray that she finds a way to have a relationship with our kids. That she see the way her boyfriend handles discipline is out of line and protects themselves so the kids feel protected and valued. I pray she finds what she is looking for. Mainly I pray that she keeps her distance and that I don’t have to be around her. I do pray I think it will just take time. Incidents keep presenting themselves so the resentments keeps coming back. I just try to talk to my sons weigh the facts and teach how to handle the situation. Also I keep a log of all incidents with the boyfriend. It is one of those things where your not sure what to do.
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