How to I make up for all the wrong I’ve done while being held captive by my addiction? When sober, I would never do the things that I’ve done. But while under the influence I had lost all control of myself and just lost myself in general. And now I have broken relationships & broken trusts all around me. And it’s weighing on me so heavily. I want so bad to repair what I’ve broken, but I don’t know where to begin. I’ve apologized, but now how do I rebuild these relationships? How do I prove myself again?
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Changed behavior is the best apology. Start with yourself. Maybe find a program like AA. The rest well come along in good time.
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I have found that by practicing the 12 steps I’ve been able to completely turn my life around. Steps 4-9 have allowed me to see my character defects and put me on a path to rebuilding those relationships. I couldn’t have done those steps without practicing steps 1-3 on a daily basis.
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You can’t change what happened. You can decide to be better, and then be better. Redemption is a human quality that goes hand and hand with forgiveness. Jesus preached about the “prodigal son”. Two Christmas classics “Scrooge” and “the Grinch” give us an annual Redemption story. Stars fall from grace, and make a comeback.
So write your own personal Redemption story. Become better. Volunteer and help people. Work your sobriety. Be a person others can count on, when they are sick, or sad, or in need.
And time. Time and sustained action will generate results. Be patient that it take others a bit longer to see the changes. They aren’t in your head. Don’t be discouraged. This is about you getting better at getting better. They are just beneficiaries of your healing and growth.
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Don’t be in a rush to fix everything in your life at once. First things first, get sober and get comfortable being sober. These other things will only hamper your ability to stay sober if you try to tackle everything at once.
I recommend AA as @anon46927530 and @Englishd have, helped me a loooot, mighy could help you too.
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I don’t have any helpful advice on this front, as I am currently in the same position…I just wanted to thank you for asking these questions, because the responses have been very helpful to me (and I hope for you as well!)
Stay strong, and best wishes to you!
Thank you all so much for your advice and wisdom. I want to be better and with the personality I’ve had for so many years now it’s hard to not want to tackle all of this and fix it all at once & immediately. I’ve always been a perfectionist who is very critical of herself, which is probably a contributing factor to how I’ve ended here. And is definitely something I need to work on personally in order to help maintain sobriety.
I truly appreciate everyone’s input.
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