Rock bottom rating

[Diddu]

Hi everybody

Sober for 2 weeks. Not for the first time, but i hope the last.

Today i want to share my own rock bottoms rating

#7 The first time i felt like i got very low was when i fell on the pavement outside a club. But hey, lots of people experience this so i got over it and happen at list twice more..

#6 the time i understood i have a drinking problem was when i woke up in my bed with a bite of a sandwich in my mouth and the rest of it under my body, smashed on the bed sheets. The stains were washed of and i didn’t suffocate so i went on.

#5 One of my “best” rock bottoms was when i injected myself with botox around the eyes and injected my lips with HA acid because after drinking a bottle of wine i felt like it was a good idea and since i’m doctor i had at home all i needed to go on with the plan. Lucky me i didn’t do any damage just few hematomas on my face nothing unusual..

#4 An anxiety attack after a huge binge drinking. Couldn’t get through it myself with breathing etc. so i had to call my mom to come over and then confessed for the first time that i’m an alcoholic.

#3 One really low time i had a conversation with my 16 yo son which started quite normal and ended with me crying like crazy calling my son an idiot and other not so nice names and words. What’s worse is that while the tantrum was still going on i couldn’t even remember what started all the drama just a few minutes earlier.

#2 Another great fight after drinking heavily brought me to say horrible things to my partner which eventually led us to break up just few days later. A 3 years relationship ended cause there was no way back from what i said that night.

My no. 1 rock bottom and the worst which could ended tragically was just 2 weeks ago when i drank as early as 8am than drove my car with my younger kid in the back sit and had an accident. I went into a wall. Miraculously we weren’t injured and i didn’t hurt other people. The car was wrecked.

So i said “HAGOMEL” (a jewish prayer thanking God for saving me and others from a harm so close).

3 days ago i went to give a blood donation. I felt i need to give back.

So does a rock bottom makes one quit drinking? I know there may always be a lower rock bottom, but i feel i had enough. I’m tired of crazy experiences. I’m tired of not being present in my own life whether things are good or bad. Living as an alcoholic demand lots of energy. I had to work very hard every day just to deal with the physical pain it brings, the imotional issues that accumulate with time and trying to continue function and maintain life while drinking. I can’t and i don’t want to do it anymore.

It’s time to work on doing good things for myself and other, to work hard on being aware. To invest my energy on dealing with things instead of runing away or ignoring. To accept with peace the bad things that happens and embrace and enjoy the good things.

So i’m positive, and i want to share some of it with all of you and wish us all just a little peace and quiet, small achievments once in a while and a bit of joy

[Madds]

Hi @Diddu and welcome

I’m so sorry that things have been so bad with drinking. I know i can personally relate to hitting bottom after rock bottom and still finding reasons to keep pouring poison down my own throat. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. I’m glad that your kid is okay. Please know that you arent alone as you traverse early sobriety with us.

[Misokatsu]

Thank you for sharing. It is interesting how we have a rock bottom, but keep digging and find a new one (I did the same) I’m so glad you and your child are ok, and you didn’t hurt anyone else, and that this going to be your ‘real’ rock bottom. If you have been on this site before, you probably know, but here are some useful threads.

What’s YOUR plan?

Resources for our recovery

[JasonFisher]

Awesome post! Thanks for being here and reminding me how many times I have hit bottom

My last drink occurred from hitting an unusual bottom.
I’ve been in way worse scenarios and still tried to make drinking work.

I woke up in a nice hotel on the floor. It took a while to remember where I was. I was in Hawaii on my dream vacation with my dream girl. She was terrified of me. I couldn’t remember anything.

I had messed everything up. I felt like the biggest piece of trash

That was my last drunk.
I’ve woke up in jail, wrecked cars, been nearly beaten to death, DUI, overdosed, put a gun in my own mouth and wanted to pull the trigger. And many more.

I put the shovel down in paradise. I haven’t picked back up. I plan on keeping it that way.

[Dan531]

Rock bottom will make us quit when we quit looking for deeper rocks or die. It sounds like you don’t want to find deeper rocks, that’s a great choice! I’m glad you’re here, thanks for reminding me of my own rocks.

[erntedank]

Welcome back
Great share, thank you!

[Puddingface33]

Welcome thank you for sharing your story

I have had many many rock bottoms myself ,booze & drugs , blackouts , arrested, lying and cheating on loved ones, breaking their hearts. Risking a roof over my head and losing several jobs .

Everyone’s rock bottoms looks different but all end the same way by driving you to stop drinking or ending up dead in worst cases !

Sounds like you’re ready to put in the work and I’m sure everyone here will agree we’re here to support you

Keep being brave and we can do it together

[Blondie1x]

Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you felt the same as me. SICK AND TIRED of being sick and tired. I’m so glad that you are here with us. There is a better way! Sobriety is the best thing I have ever done. I never thought I could ever break free from the madness of perpetual drinking. I’m now nearly 8 years sober and with this site as my only AF support I will continue to go to bed each night sober. One day at a time. Try not to focus on the future, just today. Stay sober with us today. Then tomorrow we rise and repeat. I think you are amazing and I greatly appreciate your honesty. Look at your post if you get tempted. I’m glad you and your young one are ok.

[Starlight14]

My rock bottom was like hell but the stand out part for me was the tiniest sniff of ever losing my precious daughter that did it for me

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Welcome back!!! Great post… alot of insight and self-awareness in it.
I can agree with u in that the rock bottoms keep getting worse n worse. Ive had a quite a few of them myself over the years in addiction and honestly it always ended the same way. Id experience a traumatic event… id promise myself that i would stop and get clean and sober… and then about 3-7 days in, Id find myself using snd drinking again wondering WTH happened?!

Our minds lie to us constantly when it comes to addiction. He helps us forget the bad times/consequences that these substances cause and therefore we struggle to stay sober. Its sooo important that u wrote these rock bottoms down (smart decision). Bcuz u can refer to these to help u to “play the tape to the end”. Focusing on the drama, the dangers, the toxic lifestyle, the guilt and shame, the remorse, the physical and financial problems, the list goes on n on… can help us to remember why we are getting sober.

You deserve a happy, healthy, joyful life!!
One where u are building relationships with urseld and others, discovering ur dreams and goals, financially being stable, not just surviving… but thriving!!

Im glad ur here! Hope to see u posting more!! Huge congratulations on 2 weeks

[michaeljlogan74]

Yes, I hit rock bottom several times and not even a 3-month stay in a psychiatric hospital and not speaker or seeing my children for 14 months made me stop drinking. It was only getting a sponsor that made me finally quit alcohol. My sobriety is a result of having a sponsor and being held accountable for my actions. Without my sponsor in my life, I would still be drinking, divorced and unemployed. I highly recommend getting a sponsor to make yourself accountable. Keep moving forward~

[Moonlight82]

I´m glad you and your kid didn´t get hurt in the accident. I really hope this is your lowest rock bottom and it will keep motivating you to stay sober.

[SinceIAwoke]

What are you doing to get sober? We all know how to drink and drug and have ugly consequences, that’s what got us here. If you want to be sober, you can find sober people and follow their example.

[Diddu]

That’s true

I follow sober peopke. I go back to my old sober self who once knew how to live and enjoyed and sometimes suffered without a drink ( i wasn’t born with a glass of wine in my hand).

When i feel good and start to think i’m strong and in control enough to deal with just one drink i go back to my rock bottom list and remind myself how i got to each rock bottom i had expirienced, and that the moment of fun just before hitting the bottom was brief and deceitful not worthy of the devastating consequences.

[Englishd]

Sobriety requires action. What action steps are you taking to get back to your sober self? Therapy? Working a program? Checking in here daily? Outpatient rehab? Those are action steps. I used them all and as a result I’ve stayed sober

[Diddu]

Therapy and this community for now