Heyy all. I just need a space to release everything. I’m engaged and have a stepson. My fiancee and I were together 6 years ago for just about 2 years. I explained to him when we started talking again that I had started using and was newly sober. I’ve been thru a LOT of trauma in the last 4 years. Not even limited to my dope days. But he cant understand why I’m so different. Why I’m not the same person he fell in love with. Now he feels like I’m selfish and only care about myself and that I have this complex like I’m better than everyone else. Apparently I treat him like a dog? I dont feel like any of that’s accurate ? Him and my stepson are my world. On top of all that I’ve been out of work for 8 days and for 4 or 5 of those days I was sick. The other night he gave me the ultimatum of having an interview by the end of the week or hes done. Sorry for the rant just had to vent…
Nice understanding dude, 
…
Tell him have a nice life. You don’t take ultatums from anyone!
It looks like he’d be so proud of you making your life better. I don’t understand where he’s coming from
That’s pretty rough! Sorry to hear that! I’ve been sick for 29 days with a intestine infection suffering and I’m 46 days sober from drugs and alcohol. My wife smokes a lot of weed but when I told her i was done with it she quit to. Because it’s a team and she wants me to succeed. Is he interested in changing or continuing a relationship with you sober. Its rough time now with jobs. This is the time when you guys support each other. Especially from a grown man. This is only my opinion i would be a little ticked if it was me.
First I’m sorry for you dealing with this,
I became estranged from my live in girlfriend for detox and rehab, during treatment I started to see the controlling side of her I ignored, for so long. She broke it off and I was devastated, only to start barking orders again i haven’t spoken to her in 7 months,
Do I miss her? Sure do I miss my stepdaughter yes everyday!! But do I want to be faced with constant ridicule and ultimatums oh fuck no.
I hate to say it let by gones be by gones and live your sober life happy
He doesn’t sound very supportive. Maybe you are just venting and he is usually your #1 fan, I don’t know. But for me, life is too short to settle for someone who tears me down. Being a partner is about supporting and lifting up, helping us be our best selves. Please don’t sell yourself short. Only you know the heart of your relationship and your partner, if he was having an off day, okay, it happens. I don’t mean to mess in your business and hopefully didn’t offend you. I have lived and loved long enough tho to know that there are so many good kind caring people out there, why settle for less then. 
I appreciate all of your responses and different view points. And @SassyRocks you certainly didnt offend me. Not at all 
Does your partner know what is going on in the world right now?!! You are getting sober and clean in a time when it is EXTREMELY difficult!! Add to that trying to find work and the pressure on you right now is immense!.. You need admiring and supporting not ultimatums!! I don’t know the workings of your relationship but you most certainly need to focus on you and your sobriety before any ultimatums or forceful requests from anyone. I understand how difficult it is to walk this journey on ‘normal’ life terms, never mind in ‘bat shit crazy’ times like now, I commend you lady! As @anon79808082 Donna says… Don’t take ultimatums from anyone! You should be loved and supported not talked down to and ordered. Who’s treating who like a dog:thinking: I think this might be the other way around, where that’s concerned 
… Just my opinion, hope I haven’t offended you or spoke out of turn. Glad you’re with us! 
