Sadly reset my clock today

I did have to reset my clock today.:neutral_face: I stopped drinking last night at about 11 p.m . I am alitttle ashamed to have to announce a reset clock .
But I also wanted to share that I learned a lot from this last binge and I feel I will be even stronger this time around.
I went 15 days without a drink. I felt the best I have ever felt. I have consumed alcohol daily for about 15 years. THE 15 days I was 100% sober I felt so good. Alert, slept well, my bags uner my eyes were gone, I didn’t forget things, I got a lot my things done, I was more social . I was told by people that I looked great! Fresher!!
Now today I have to start over again! After all of that hard work into detoxing and losing my cravings. I even lost 8 pounds those 2 weeks.
I was sober for 15 days and then on the 16th day I let someone talk me into joining them for simply “one drink” I felt like I was OK and wasn’t craving it. So I had the drinks and then the next day I still felt ok …and spent the very next day not drinking and felt I was doing ok.
Suddenly I wanted it again!! So on the 2nd day after drinking just one drink… I binged !! I continued to drink for 24 days after that😔. I felt horrible and I missed work this morning due to feeling sick. I spent the morning shaky and sick in the bathroom and I’m fighting that asshole demon again. My mind is telling me right now to just go get one beer to help me detox!! Someone had told me before not to quit cold turkey , to have some drinks will you are coming off of it. To have one or 2 drinks to keep you from having a stroke? Or is that my mind saying to go get a beer right now.
What did I learn? I learned that I can’t drink! And even when I was feeling so good and sober I still am a alcoholic! I can’t have that one drink because it just sent me into 24 days of drinking. Reading your posts here the last 24 days while I was using helped me alot. Although I know I was doing something wrong, it still brought me back to reality and wanting to be sober. I am grateful for this app and all of your inspiration here.

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It was a relapse. Nothing more. You proved that you can do it, so take a lesson from why you relapsed and apply it towards future sobriety! You can do it! :grin:

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We all rebuild…i threw away 8 years of sobriety for 2 years worth of narcotics and alcohol…stay strong and bounce back and keep at…any sober time is better than no sober time and a life wasted.

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Thank u. Lesson is learned. I had to go right back to that crappy feeling. I want that fresh healthy feeling I had in those 15 days being sober. Miss work today too.

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Just landed my new job as well. I have left other jobs because I was chosen my booze over jobs. I worked hard to get this new job and I’m only 2 weeks in and of course I missed work today. I won’t lose this job over booze. Not drinking tonight is hard … it’s all I’m thinking is to have one or 2 drinks to mellow out and I’ll be fine​:japanese_ogre::smiling_imp:

Time to stay strong. You have proven you CAN do this! I’m glad you reached out as we are all here to support you! We all got your back. Best wishes in continuing your sober journey and being the best you you can be. Remember, it’s not a sprint it really is a journey and everyday counts!

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Thank you! I knew yesterday at the end of my 24 day Bingen that I would post today . I knew after my last drink that I wanted to stop again. Reading here this month (quietly😔) for the last 24 days was a constant reminder that I was drinking and I shouldn’t be. Thanks for your support. My hand shakes and my rapid heart beats are now diminishing. Getting thru the hard part now for a few days. Thanks for your words😊

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Still an alcoholic is a great lesson. Welcome back pal! You did the right thing coming back. :laughing:

Someone on here said a great metaphor for still being an alcoholic. Went something like,
If you turn the volume on an amplifier up to 11 and then unplug it for a month, or a year or ten. When you plug it back in, the volume is still at 11.

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Omg!! That brought tears to my eyes!! What an awesome analogy I will be writing that down in my journal to remind myself. Awesome thanks

You got this! Another 15 years of drinking? Do you want to know what you’ll look like then? What will happen to your liver in another 15 years? It’s bad, all bad. Sorry for being so pragmatic but I feel it’s very important.

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Harsh words help too. And help take a real look! I already have a slightly fatty liver. I have seen a liver specialis and he said that it will go down with no alcohol!! He said but if you keep it up we will have a different outcome. He told me it’s time to get seriouse!! I just finished all these appointment’s too!! About 3 months ago, that’s why I cleaned up for those 15 days!! Dammit you’re right!! Thanks for reminding me

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Please see your physician first. Cold turkey = Seizures depending on how long, how often, and how much you drink. Everyone is different so play it safe.

OK . Sadly I can’t get into see my doc. For a few days. Shakes are gone. Now just dealing with feeling heated up, blood pressure feeling high and off and on heart beats. I’ve been through this so many times. I’m annoyed with myself at this point. But in my.mind u think, since I can’t see my doc. I should drink a little to come down slowly (someone in AA told me this a few years ago) just feeling very anxious. I guess emergency room would be my only.option if I get worse😑. I won’t do this to myself again!!! I know a drink would slow my heart anxiety down if I could handle just one

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Thanks chef. I’ll stick with cold turkey. Just battling right now. Off tonight and alone so my mind wants to drink . Thinking one would help me. But that’s what I always think

Day 1 for me again to gotta keep trying

ER then. Dehydration and loss of electrolytes including Folate and Thiamine among others can be responsible for the irregular heart rhythms. Please make sure to have a ride both ways.

Let’s get through this night and then get through tomorrow

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Feeling really.heated up and irregular heart beats. Drinking lots of water a gallon! Just have to get thru tonight alive I guess. I don’t have anyone to drive me. If it gets real bad I will call for help. Thank u💕

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Can’t sleep I can feel my liver. I’m gonna make it.

My liver and back has been aching all week. I have been down this path. Annoying!!