Well, we played our show at the bar. I didn’t drink, though I kinda wanted to. Ahead of time, I left my money at home. I was given 2 free drink tickets but I didn’t use them. I ordered diet cokes. The two other band members got wasted. One drove home drunk. I offered him a ride and he got weird and left. The other one was sweaty and had water or something poured all down his shirt. Show went ok in spite of all this. I got hit on my a really drunk girl. Talked to several other people that were kinda wasted. I hadn’t eaten before the show so I was starving, I left. And as I got in my car I got hit with all kinds of sad feelings. Just melancholy and blueness. I’m not sure why. I mean, I made it without drinking. I was driving my own car home sober. I still feel that way. I just feel sad. I thought about stopping at the store to get alcohol to take home. But thankfully didn’t have my money. Anyway, just needed to get some thoughts out. Thanks for reading.
Yay, you did it!
You know what? Reading your story took me back to that empty feeling I always felt while in a bar. Maybe that’s what that feeling is.
You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling lighter, just like the new day☄️
Sounds like some HALT symptoms. Keep yourself fed and rested. The sadness and missing out feeling comes and goes a lot in the first couple months.
Great job and hanging tough, it ain’t easy bein greazy.
Ya, like it’s an old life mine that I won’t ever have again. I don’t miss the drinking part, but I miss the being able to be on the same level and finding everything hilarious and being life of the party I guess. I was the boring lady standing around looking at people. Thing is, that lady who hit on me wanted to buy me a drink. Right there, was a perfect fall. I said I wanted a diet coke and she thought I said crown amd coke. I could have so easily said, yes that’s what I said. But something in me was like, no I just want the coke. I tried to hand my drink tickets to someone else and ask them to get a whiskey shot for me, but I couldn’t get any words out. It was such a strange dance I was doing. Like hot potato. Keep the drink access moving around so it couldn’t settle on me and work on me like a hot coal.
Yes, I was starving. Part of me was afraid that if i drank, i would immediately throw up. That was a good deterrent. I did feel a little lonely too, in a sea of beer breath and whiskey vapors. Man, I realized how smelly people get when drinking.
Oh absofuckinglutely 
. Like the old cartoons with stink lines flowing off them
For sure. Andy Capp, remember that cartoon? Dude always had those squiggle lines around his head or something.
Or pigpen
I have gone to weddings, funerals and work nights out and not been drinking, for me part of the sadness could be one of two things 1. I couldn’t join in 2. Looking from the outside in I felt I didn’t belong, that’s probably the hardest feeling, I didn’t fit in anymore
Well to be honest… sober people don’t belong at bars.
That is true, sometimes it’s hard to avoid when it is to do with work and such functions like weddings and funerals when you have a wake. I do agree that if you can stay well clear
You hit it on the head there for me, it’s like saying goodbye to the story we all individually bought into. Mine was the Hunter S, Bukowski take on it, you’ll have had your own version. Whichever, it still leaves a hole for quite a while!
I just want to say, I’m really proud of you for not drinking.
Maybe seeing all those people drunk and not acting great was a little depressing?
I can imagine how hard it was to say no. I’m super proud of you for being able to pause and think through it.
️
Maybe subconsciously but it wasn’t on my mind, I’ve been around all these guys when they get wasted and I’m tipsy. It wasn’t unusual. I think, ya, like I wasn’t joining in on that part - getting silly and stuff.
One thing I thought of as I woke up this morning is how everyone makes alcohol the center of the show… so many times, “are you ready to get your drink on”, “we’re here to drink and party”, blah blah. It is almost like a deity in these situations, everyone is celebrating alcohol more than anything else.
I was deeply saddened by my friend driving drunk. I really could get him home safe and sound, but he almost kind of got angry when I offered. If he was pulled over, he would have blown at least 0.1, easy. I need to remind myself I was that person, swearing I was fine to drive when clearly I was not. Those times, I really thought no one knew how drunk I was. But they knew, just like I knew my friend was well over the legal limit just by smelling him blow rancid beer breath in my face while rambling about being a cheetah or something.
I can totally relate to your post and those feelings of victory and sadness. Being in my old world physically yet straddling my new (lovely!) Sober world brings up wave after wave of feelings. I am glad I’m not participating in the ugly part but miss the happy part. That environment reminds me strongly that I am a different person than I was 651 days ago in this new life I have built for myself. I say feel it and remember why we are choosing Sober lifestyle. It’s sooo better on this side. And, these situations do get easier.
Way to stay strong after all that temptation! 
