Safety in solitude

The positive is that I’m over 30 days sober.
The negative is that i have to confine myself from the world and people.
At least that’s how i feel. Most of that feeling comes from the fact then when i would drink i had no fear of judgment from others or even myself for that matter. I didn’t care because once i was drunk my “other side” took over and he was fearless, unafraid of being social, unafraid of being accepted, and unafraid of saying what he had to feel. In a sense i kind of feel lost without that side because i used that side of me for so long to get by in life…now it’s gone and i have to retrain my personality to function in life and with people without it.
It’s not been easy and I’ve introverted not just inside my house but inside myself. Now it feels like I’m watching the world move on by without me…but in a sense that’s OK, because I’m safer in solitude, i can’t hurt the world here and the world can’t hurt me.

3 Likes

@Rikk Thanks for sharing! I know what you mean by the “other side coming out.” It was the same for me too. I felt I was able to better “express” what I felt only to realize the next day I made it worst. I’m learning how to feel my emotions sober and deal with them. In my opinion I think it’s a lie of the world to believe that the only way to have fun is to drink since it’s so easily advertised. Congratulations on 30 days and counting sober!!! Thats awesome, keep up the hard work! Blessings to you, stay strong! :smile::smile::smile::sparkling_heart::clap::clap::clap::point_up::point_up::point_up::muscle::muscle::muscle::muscle::muscle::rose::rose::rose:

I know how you feel. Most of the time, I’m grateful that I don’t have to be around people anymore, but I have felt that loss of social contact quite poignantly. You’re right… It’s safer all around. this way.

I know exactly how you feel too. It really feels like there’s no other option but to drink in social situations. I myself find that I am much more capable of my actions when I’m by myself as opposed to when I’m around influences. The problem though is you become more distant with your relationships than youd like. Some take it personal. And while you feel like you may be gaining a disciplined part of yourself, like you said , you’re losing a part of yourself as well. One of the parts that you felt was the face of you. It’s a pure daily struggle of priorities .

1 Like