So, today my spouse and I decided to go for wings, which is our usual cheap date. Lots of kids between us, working all the time, and that is our brief getaway together… Tonight, tea with wings instead of wine, then grocery shopping, now home to get the kids off to bed and get ready for work… and we’ve bickered the entire time. Stress about bills, argued, snapped at each other. Now he’s snapping at my kids and I’m struggling not to snap back. And when I look at this relationship, there’s been booze involved since day 1. Perhaps we don’t know each other like we thought. Maybe we aren’t compatible. At least not in as many areas as we thought. I have to say I’m missing the fog at this moment. Or rose coloured glasses or whatever they call it.
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I know it’s easier said than done, but I wouldn’t worry, at least not yet. Quitting is hard. It takes a toll on the body, it makes you so touchy and if it is something that has been involved from the start, the dynamic is changing for everyone. That’s a lot of pressure and anyone would get snippy under that. There are a lot of questions that come up when you quit drinking. One of them is who is going to stick around. Give it time and be kind to yourself especially. Congrats on going out and not drinking!
That’s how I’ve felt a couple of times this week. I never drank until I met my husband and since day 1 that was how it was. Now that I’m clearing the fog, just like when I was pregnant with my son, I’m noticing a lot. I’m noticing how I’ve spoiled him to the point he wont help me around the house, how with our bills and him demanding me to stay at home with the kids to avoid childcare costs just isn’t going to work, and how now that I’m not drinking he almost seems to act like I’m boring. We don’t have a babysitter and we haven’t been on a date in almost 2 years. I’ve gotten to the point that I’m emotional over it and I want to nurture our relationship in a healthy new way, but I don’t even know if it will work. So I get where you’re coming from with the same people, different dynamic.
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im reading a book called Mommy doesn’t drink here anymore by rachael Brownwell it addresses exactly this. Parenting spouses kids feelings etc. Its her journey but very helpful and interesting. I got it offline. Dont throw in the towel just yet. 
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