I fucked up and relapsed last night. Feeling really low today. Why can’t I just stop? I’m hurting my husband, my daughter, myself. Could use some words of wisdom.
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I couldn’t stop using either. Rehabs, doctors and medicine couldn’t keep me sober. Basically I wasn’t willing to put in the footwork. Once I became willing (through the gift of desperation) I found myself in AA. I haven’t had to pick up a drink or a drug in a few days now. I pray you find that gift of desperation that I found and become willing to do whatever it takes to get sober.
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Because that is how addiction works. If we could “just stop” we would all be sober.
Are you actively working your recovery or are you just abstaining? Being sober is so much more than “not using” (whatever your drug of choice is). What can you do differently this time that will help in your recovery? The answers are within you if you are willing to listen and try anything.
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I had to change everything about my life. Who I socialized with, how I socialized, how I celebrated, where I spent my free time. Eventually I walked into AA. This isnt an easy path, but it’s worth it.
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It took me 10 years to finally stay quit. Dont beat yourself up too bad, just stay focused and make sobriety #1 in your life. Because for me, if sobriety isn’t #1, then there isn’t any of me even available for anything else in life… hope this helps. Things that helped me in beginning. The gym, CBD oil for anxiety, lots of space and time, nervous system supplements like B12, marijuana (helped me early on), water (swimming), sauna (detox).
Decide to be better and then be better. Sober is better. Say “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink, and say “no” to the hardest person to say “no” to…yourself.
If you need help in learning how to do this, because you can’t do it yourself right now, live on this forum. Read, post, reply every day. Go to meetings. Build a sober network. Break up with your drinking buddies. If you tend to drink at a certain time and place, it has become a ritual. Make new rituals. Take an exercise class, or go for a walk while listening to podcasts.
Get out of your comfort zone. Your comfort zone is a stagnant pond. Fresh water is moving water. Get moving.
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…Days? 
He’s got a bunch.
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I had to go check, but today is 469. Then I giggled because there was a 69 in it. Yup, I’m still immature…
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How do I find an AA meeting? Do I have to sign up or make an appointment?
The list of meetings in your area should be available on line - you can google AA and your city/town. All you need to do is show up!! You don’t even need to talk to anyone until you feel more comfortable doing so. You might need to stand in a circle and hold hands for the Lord’s Prayer at the end (I think all meetings do this???), but no one bites, I promise.
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Hi Jen do u mind me asking what was going on yesterday, that made you relapsed?
Don’t Come down on yourself to Hard, The fact that you are acknowledging that you relapse is a good thing
IT happened to me the same. THE SAME.
I totally understand you but really. Imagine that what you get inside your body is like a product to clean floor. Or any other poison. Look at it on the table and think:
BENEFITS ? ZERO
EFFECTS: TRAGEDY DISPERATION and a FUTURE GRey for you.
It’s time to change. we can do it ! ! ! really ! (look alll those other people who are clean for years! )
my best wishes.
M.
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I had to change everything to get sober, like most of us who have time under us, we had to get to that lowest point to get back up. Me? I quit work for recovery, I went to the doctor, done a CBT, engaged with alcohol recovery services, done smart and AA, I took up courses through the alcohol services like mindfulness, cooking and parenting.
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I honestly don’t know, I woke up and had the strongest craving to drink. I let the cravings get the best of me.