Day 2 of no drinking. And I already have been thinking about a drink since I woke up this morning. I am 29 and due to drinking I have pancreatitis, and a fatty liver which put me in the hospital for almost a month I had jaundice because my liver was failing. I have been hospitalized so many times I lost count because of my drinking. I lost custody of my two sons, without them I lost my purpose with life. I can have them back if I could just get sober. I have been arrested due to doing extremely stupid things in a blackout. I lost my amazing job and my brand new car. So I sit on the bed and drink all day. I want to stop and get my life back together but I have no motivation and can’t stop drinking. I don’t understand how I can even be sitting here right now thinking about a drink I hate what alcohol has done to my life but it’s so hard to give it up.
I’m very early in, day 42, but a few days ago I was struggling bad from minute I woke up, it’s all I could think about. I made a list of small tasks and started to focus on knocking them out one by one, it was an excellent distraction and I felt accomplished at the end. I also joined the 24 online meeting for a bit, I didn’t share, I just listened. I’m sorry you are struggling at the moment but I promise you that it will pass if YOU let it. 
and 
Time to distract your brain with this place or sobriety podcasts (I listened to hundreds and hundreds of hours of them) or recovery meetings. Put the time into recovery that you did into drinking and you’ll succeed. It gets so much better, I promise you that. My proof??? This place wouldn’t have people with years of sobriety if it wasn’t 1,000,000% worth it.
Listen to This Naked Mind by Annie Grace if you can. It’ll change your mindset towards booze forever. We’re here for you, hang on and fight like hell. Fuck Alcohol
Hi Alexis!
Early sobriety is not easy, I thought SO much about drinking. I hated my life and what it had become. But, I also got to a place where I knew I needed to quit and could see I was just slipping further into oblivion (death) by drinking and continuing to avoid changing.
We have a disease. And it wants us dead. For us to get out of this alive, we have to get to find it somewhere deep down in us to get sober before it finishes that task. For me, my dad died of his alcoholism and I didn’t ever want my son to know that same pain I knew and that helped to motivate me. But I know I would never have been able to do it alone. I had to surrender, accept help. From others, from my higher power, from anyone that I could because what I had done on my own accord got me to a place I never thought I’d be.
This place and AA has saved my life. I have full faith that you can find those same results my love! I’m glad you are here and talking to us. Like @Dan531 said, it’s time to fight like hell and get the new life you deserve.
Hello Alexis, welcome to Talking Sober
I’m sorry you are struggling so hard right now, but I am glad that you reached out and found us. The path to sobriety isn’t easy, but the good news is: you don’t have to walk it alone!
This is a great community with members from all over the world. Whenever you are in distress, please reach out. Someone sure will be online and support you soon. Look around through the topics, you will find loads of advice. Now you have to build your own toolbox for your sobriety. Use the daily check-in to hold yourself accountable. Engage in the multiple threads of hobbies, fun and entertainment to keep yourself distracted and enriched with healthy options to pass the time instead of drinking, thinking about drinking and thinking about how to stop thinking about it.
I really do hope you are able to ride out the withdrawal and cravings. So you can stick around here and we can all get to know you better 
Sending you love 
and strength 
Yeah I was pretty scared this last time around, I had to ask for help and it wasn’t easy but I prayed to God, I said: God, help.
Just like that, with as much sincerity as I could muster.
Maybe a meeting might help .sounds if you need some help like me everything that happened to you and still didnt stop me drinking and lost everything i cared for but going to meetings helped me to change my mindset and get a good foundation in place worked for wish you well
Is this your rock bottom then? Its hard to drink and its hard no to drink so pick your hard…the former option means nothing will change other than for your life and health to get progressively worse and the latter means the opportunity to have your whole life back including your 2 sons…
Editing to add some love and hugs as when i re read this maybe it sounds a bit harsh…i dont mean it to but i want you to really look at your situation for what it is…you can pull yourself out if this but dont try and do it alone…we are all here for you 
Welcome Alexis. I guess that the first days are the hardest. It’s your compulsion, your addiction trying to take charge of your life. To make you drink. You have gone through a lot and lost a lot, but you haven’t lost yourself. The real you is still there, although it probably doesn’t seem so. And taking it one day a time, one hour or one minute at a time, you can slowly regain control over your mind and body.
Try hanging around here whenever you can - it is a safe place to be, full of supportive people who can give you great advice.
Alexis. I am sending you love and strength. You have a battle to fight and you can’t do it alone. Get all the support you need in real life and here at TS. I do hope your boys are in a safe and loving home. Do not allow shame and fear to beat you. Each day you stay sober is another victory,another step toward recovering your self. You can do this.
This sounds like a fight for your life. Find your motivation, put a sober head on your pillow tonight and keep doing that everyday.
Hit up meetings online or in person and start fighting for a better life. Your kiddos and your body will thank you. Stick around and let us know how we can help.
It all gets very real when our only options become quit or die.
Meetings and other recovering alcoholics save lives.
Takes years to figure out we can’t do this on our own with only our own knowledge which failed us every time.
You are never alone and don’t ever have to be.
Zoom 24 hours a day.
That was not harsh at all. I appreciate your advice. Thank you
Good, your welcome, how are you feeling today?
Have relapsed twice since new year hate it
I’m actually not so bad. I went to church this morning which lifted my mood. I’m not thinking about a drink today. Hows your day going
Thats good, one day at a time my friend, keep reaching out here we are here to help you, im good thank you for asking