Hi everyone. I’m about 50 days sober. My gf mentioned that she’s going out with some friends from school. The day she’s away I’ll be all alone. My kids are at their dads that weekend. I asked if partners are invited. She said “No it’s just school friends” My first thought was “I’ll go to the shop and get a bottle of vodka”. I’m stressed with things in my life. But I really don’t want to relapse.
In early sobriety I was scared to be home alone. I know that feeling.
But now it did get easier
Oh no girl! Don’t do it! Maybe take a short road trip to some kind of outdoors location you would enjoy? I know that driving somewhere helps me stop thinking about drinking because I get so excited about no threat of DUI. OR maybe there is a book you’ve been eyeballing, pick it up and settle in for a nice long, relaxing, day long read.
I used to drink alone, mostly. I was avoiding grief. That’s how I started drinking “with a purpose”, and this has been central to my drinking for the last 25 years.
But I also realised that I enjoy many solo pursuits that don’t involve drinking, like hiking, walking, gardening, reading, or listening to podcasts. One of the most enjoyable parts of my job, believe it or not, is driving. I am on the road frequently, for as long as 4 hours each way. Drinking involved me sitting, maybe watching TV.
So I rarely sit and watch TV. I do a lot of things by myself, which give me enjoyment and satisfaction, and I do them alone. I suggest that you find something that gives you joy, doesn’t involve drinking, that you can do alone, or even prefer to do alone. Painting. Fishing. Bonsai gardening. Anything that stimulates your sober mind, and gives you joy. Joy is the reward that your mind will seek, instead of intoxication.
I agree…don’t be alone without a safe plan…Who could you have visit that doesn’t drink? Almost 2 months that’s a big deal!!! Don’t go off
I agree on having a plan for yourself ahead of time. You’ll be proud of yourself when u stick to your guns.
Maybe if you get to meetin not for everyone but it might help get new friends eye to eye and phone numbers get a good network can help thats were the NET comes in it will save you from lifting a drink wish you well
Thanks all. I’d love to go driving but I don’t have a car anymore. I keep thinking that I can test myself. Just limit myself to one or two drinks. Maybe the real test should be… can I be on my own, accountable to NO one and still stay sober. But the thrill of cheating and not getting caught keeps calling me and haunting me.
For me, being HOME alone is an issue because we always have a well stocked liquor cabinet. For me, I need to just get myself out of the house and doing something. What can you do? You don’t have a car but do you have access to public transportation? What about going to a movie or to the mall. Maybe go to a local pool for public swimming time. If the weather is nice where you are go for a walk. Go to the library and read a book. There is so much you can do that can distract you.
As for the “thrill of cheating”…think that whole thing through. Will you really not get caught? You’ll have a horrible hangover, which in itself is awful, but more than that, people will notice the hangover. And if they DON’T notice you will have the guilt of knowing you cheated.
You can do this. I know it.