Thanks. I feel I can relate. I’m will respond later this evening. For now I must rest and then off to my other clients. But I wanted to let you know this stuck out to me. Be well. Talk later.
That is good that you are learning to cope with therapy. I think that’s wonderful. And I would never discourage someone away from what works. AA, NA, church, therapy whatever.
It’s just as I said, I’ve been in and out of therapy for 32 years. Court ordered the first time. At 6, very awful things happened. A judged ruled that I should see a professional. They were right to do so. It was their duty to see that I get help immediately and they did. It just never worked. To this day, it’s done nothing.
I completely feel you on being 38 and starting over. I’m 38. I can’t really just start over. I wanna punch a person in the face when they say there is always a way with a totally sure as shit attitude. I currently work 54 hours a week. With that I’m still well below the poverty line for my area. I am drowning under student loan debt. There is no money, there is no time. Change is not feasible. There is one option and that’s to keep going. And to keep going, as it turns out, means to wake up everyday and hate the day that’s facing me.
My professional disappointments are not the reason I began to drink but it’s wildly clear to me that they are a big part of what’s kept me drinking.
You’re right, I’m here for a reason. I want to successfully stop drinking. I tried to kill my self about 6 years ago. Thats the most recent actual attempt so I guess that’s a good thing. Its the only time I’ve ever been hospitalized for any mental health issues. I remember enjoying the group therapy. I guess maybe this seemed like virtual group therapy. So I thought I’d give it a crack.
But now, I’m realizing it was just the social aspects I liked. Was it ever useful? No. It wasn’t. I was nice. I made friends who were going through similar circumstances. That was very bonding. But did I get healthy because of it? No.
So what do I do? I genuinely don’t know.
Im so sorry you’re feeling the way you are about your work dear. I wish I could help. What is it you do? What do you hate about it? Did you ever enjoy it?