So I’m 19 days sober, and I’m starting to feel like I’m itemizing my problems. Like I only drink too much and make bad choices when I drink vodka not wine etc. so I feel like if I limit having wine just when I’m home and not out then it’s ok. I asked my husband and he says no absolutely not. Although I think his opinion is most likely valid, it makes me feel oppressed and trapped and want to drink even more.
To make matters worse I’m hosting karaoke at a bar tonight for extra money because my dui is costing me thousands of dollars on lawyers and fees.
19 days is great. Keep that up. But hosting karaoke at a bar to pay for your dwi legal expenses seems like the definition of both irony and a very bad decision. Seems like a self destructive decision to be in a bar— both for your legal situation as well as your sobriety goal.
For me, sobriety only happened when I decided I needed to be sober. When other people told me I should slow down or take a break, I hated them for it. And I sure didn’t stop for them.
You’ve got to want to be sober. Otherwise there is no chance of success.
19 days is substantial. I hope you decide to continue that path.
Please don’t give up. Don’t let things get worse. You can do it. Think about how good you will feel when you hit one month. Good luck at kareoke. Notice tonight how people change as they drink. Remember that you are in control and be thankful.
That’s the cravings talkin to ya. You’re at a bar, watching others enjoy their time, meanwhile you “can’t” drink and have to work there to pay for an expensive DUI.
Don’t give up, if you’re like me, you know where that leads you as you have a PHD in drinking and doing not so smart things.
Suffer through the night, it won’t last forever. After that, I’d avoid being in a bar for some time until you’re obsession to drink has significantly dissipated.
It’s already been said but I’m going to put my bit in… You really have to look at why you are sober, who it is for. I think we have all hit the rationalizing at some point and still do occasionally in my case. But I know I can’t drink. Not anymore. That’s just not me not now. 19 says if a good strong start. At that point when my alcoholic brain started to play tricks on me I would think how hard it had been to be sober for that long and just how I felt in myself. I rationalized back!!
Stay strong and think of the positive benefits of being sober.
Take something time to educate yourself about alcohol. Society lies to you and you’ve been lied to all your life. Until your subconscious begins to see the truth you’ll most likely always crave it. Read books such as This Naked Mind, Alcohol Explained or Alan Carr’s books on alcohol. I read and listen to podcasts most days and the desire to drink alcohol has pretty much gone. That is freedom. Moderation is misery.
