I spoke about the Halloween progressive my office had in a previous post. I turned down all of the “spooky” adult drinks, and I felt a bit left out at first. Though I gave myself a pat on the back after for being productive with another non-drinking co-worker. We had our Thanksgiving potluck this Friday (a bit early I know), and the entire potluck was covered in sangrias (one of my old personal faves). My close friend Melanie and I were probably the only people I noticed without one. Mel is a great friend to have in that respect - she has never had much of a taste for drinking, so she just doesn’t really drink. We sat down with a group of co-workers from our old team, which of course were all drinking. They asked me why I wasn’t, knowing my “fun” past all too well. One asked, “Wait… are you pregnant??” My response was, “No, I was tired of people asking if I was because of my wine belly, so we’ve broken up. Why date somebody who constantly keeps you preggo anyways? That’s no fun.” They laughed. Soon after, they left. And suddenly I found myself sitting at a table alone (Mel had jumped up to make her rounds around the dozens of tables). I got this extreme feeling of anxiety, like everyone was just staring at me, sitting alone, and not drinking. Like I was an outcast of sorts. It was very uncomfortable. I used to use drinking as a crutch for my social anxiety, but now I don’t really know what to do. I got up and walked over to where Mel was chatting, hoping I would feel a little less awkward… but it just made it worse because I was not really a part of the conversation. Blah. I left a few minutes after. Anyone have any recommendations on books for battling social anxiety?
That’s a really great question. And in general, also super commendable for going after that anxiety. Left unchecked, I know my own anxiety has knocked me back down in the past.
I don’t know a great book for this myself. I did do some cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety though. Through that I learned, like exercise, a good deal of it goes away the more we practice, little by little, what makes us uncomfortable. With anxiety it’s so easy to imagine our fears to be bigger than they really are. Doing has made me more comfortable accepting that, by and large, things turn out alright. 
That said, I also bow out of situations where I need to collect myself. Better to take a deep breath than a drink.
It sounds like you handled the whole evening really well!
Sounds like you did great. It’s gonna.be wierd to start off with.
Great read. The Sober Diaries book helped me a lot the first couple of weeks, but this touches on something she mentioned in the book. Her anxiety and social anxiety was also a little bad in the beginning. So I guess it really is true that you have to let your mind recalibrate and then learn better coping methods. I definitely feel like my panic attacks have dropped a bit. I guess it’s just getting over that hump of how to interact with others in social settings without the booze.
Maybe some books on being assertive so you feel more comfortable saying what you need or are thinking? Also maybe looking up information on ways to talk yourself out of those negative thoughts. You are assuming everyone is staring and judging you but truth is they are probably laughing about a joke or having the same thoughts as you. People’s thoughts aren’t centered around you and what you are doing it just feels that way, self talk helps.