So I haven’t told anyone yet that I’m getting sober… Not sure if it’s because I don’t want them to know that I NEED to “be sober” or if it’s just a life decision I don’t need to share with anyone… I guess I kind of feel weird telling people about it, even my husband… I was just wondering if anyone else felt this way or something similar?
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The first time I tried getting sober I kept it from my family. I didn’t want them to feel embarrassed or ashamed of me. The second time I tried getting sober my family found out and they didn’t get embarrassed or ashamed. They were very supportive. The third time and now the hopefully forever time of getting sober I’ve been very open about it but mainly because I need the support. Getting the support from our loved ones gives us strength and hope also motivation to keep going.
If you don’t mind me asking what’s holding you back from saying anything?
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I am to an extent this time, mainly because I don’t want to hear the “Oh yeah, sure. We’ve heard that before” remarks. I’ll just be steering clear of alcohol places until I’m comfortable to say “I don’t drink”
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Only my close friends and family know I am in recovery, work colleagues know i dont drink as i am on ‘medication’ no one has ever pushed it further… My advice would be to keep it on a ’ need to know ’ basis. Unfortunately there a people out there that will use the information against you when it suits them… I am over a year sober and have never had anyone be pushy as to why I don’t drink or try to encourage me to drink. Hold a little back with people you don’t 100% trust, tempting though it is to holler your excitement in sobriety to the roof tops 
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I think if I’m being honest with myself, I feel embarrassed. Embarrassed of admitting I have a problem. Embarrassed that alcohol has such a hold on me. Embarrassed that I can’t just drink casually. Maybe a little scared of the reactions. Scared that it will open a door for my husband to dump whatever potentially hurtful things he has to say about it all
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Just that phrase alone is a good starting point for me, I like it. “I don’t drink.” It doesn’t feel so aggressive towards myself lol
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I do find it an easier way to say and these days people don’t even tend to question it, especially strangers. If someone does say why, I just say “I just don’t like it” if people push any further then they’re just a weird, intrusive person lol
Yeah that’s definitely going to be a helpful tool for me when I come across those moments in the real world lol
I was embarrassed to sometimes still am. Everybody in my family drinks some might even be alcoholics but being honest for support might be what you need. If your husband truly cares and loves you he should be proud and supportive. Don’t let this hold you back from your sobriety
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Maybe im scared that everyone else is going to beat me up about my drinking as much as i do so i just dont want to put it out there. Maybe that way its just like “oh hey, she hasnt been drinking… good.”
Thats true. Im sure he would be much happier knowing that i am trying to be better rather than discovering empty beer bottles or vanishing liquor
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I think I am also holding it back from him because I dont want him to feel like he has to change his behavior. He enjoys a beer from time to time, but has no issue with it at all. And im OK with that. I guess writing all this out really makes me feel like i just need to tell him exactly that
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For most people it probably won’t be a big deal. People have their own problems that they are focusing on! Those you are close to will probably be happy for you, the people I’m close to know how I was drinking and they didn’t question my decision to stop at all… Although I have only told people where it is useful for them to know so they don’t offer me drinks and we can do different stuff than going to bars.
My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive, he still has the occasional beer and that’s fine by me. He offered to not drink around me and I haven’t needed that but I’m glad he did because I feel like if it ever gets to a day where I do need that, I can ask!
I have seen a few threads on here about how to approach the subject of being around drinking with other people and how to approach those kind of conversations. Most people have the same worries and by and large the outcome of those conversations is so much less of a big deal than the anxiety that comes with thinking about them! Let us know how you get on 
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Yeah definitely, in AA honesty is the key!
I did not tell anybody in the beginning. Later on I said that I was trying to lose some weight so I was not drinking that night. Now a year later I just tell people (if asked why) I cannot drink just 1 and that I feel so much better sober.
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Hey! IM AN ALCOHOLIC!!! I have no problem saying this to you, or any other sober friends. I haven’t said it however to other people I know who drink. What I DO say though when people are like “so ore still not drinking??? Why??” Is basically “ yeah, you know what I realized?? Drinking isn’t good for me…so I decided not to do it” I also sometimes say “I have two alcoholic parents. One that quit 30 plus years ago, and one that finally decided to try quitting 10 months ago and is only now starting to regain that light inside them in their seventies. Once I took a look at the facts, I realized that I’d like to quit while I’m ahead. It’s really a no brainer”
I find when you lay it out like this people almost feel dumb for asking. When you pitch to people this idea that …we’ll, alcohol isn’t good for my body…they kind of just go “ha, I guess you’re right.” They then think of me as somewhat of a wild anomaly of a person who was able to realize the reality of the situation and think it’s cool. Idk if this approach has worked for anyone else, but so far, it’s working for me. Today is my 200th day sober. Best decision I ever made. Happy day everyone!
Much Love,
Ely
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You can always just flip the script and start asking people why they still drink and give them that what the fuck look when they answer.
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I’ve never really felt the need to tell everyone. The people I spend the most time with (girlfriend, bandmates, and a select few others) are the only ones I’ve straight up talked to about it. Everybody else will figure it out next time they see me out and about without a drink in my hand.
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I didn’t tell anyone for a very long time during the period when I was halfheartedly trying to quit on my own. “I quit for Lent.”. “I’m on medication.” “Nursing a hangover.”. I tried all those and more when folks asked why I wasn’t drinking. Each one gave me a loophole to drink and to easily go back to it. When I finally admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic, I had to tell my closest friends. It keeps me accountable. Acquaintances just hear me say, “I don’t drink.”. If they persist, I tell them I just feel better when I don’t.
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I told a couple of friends I was doing a 30 day challenge, which I hit yesterday!!! I told my husband and son I feel good and will continue. I just plan on telling my friends I am trying to live healthier and the challenge made me realize how toxic alcohol is.
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