Self employed but at this time looking for other employment

I am currently not employed and it’s a huge deal for me. Im also waiti g to have a small surgery so I can’t work out which I look forward to DAIKY MAKEZ ME FEEL MOTIVATED!!! I so own my own company in spring and summer I do landscaping and tree removal. Currently I can not find a job without it being roofing. Im ok with the money but it’s not what im use to and a lot of roofers are involved in a circle of my past. I wanted to start today and my wife said “do you want to risk your sobriety”. I said I want to work on super in motivated without working. I truly love to work. But I am seriously in lime a co.a I am with my kids a lot it’s amazing!!! But im a dad I am use to working. I also didn’t want to hi back to getting huge stacks a cabin hand from customers. But j need hell I want to go work at the roofing it’s ok money nothing special 20 an hour and then I can learn how to handle little bit of money at a time. Idk it’s causing me to get into a bad mind set and I can control it but it’s tough lately I hate sitting in the house. Thanks all and evettone