I was driving my wife to work this morning when she mentioned her friend is having a baby shower this weekend and i was invited.
No big deal until she tells me is going to be at this bar/restaurant we used to drink at.
I told her i don’t think I’m ready for that yet, being around the bar or other People drinking…the smell, watching the progression of people getting drunk.
She seemed to get disappointed when i apologized and then the rest of the drive was an awkward silence.
I know she doesn’t want me drinking anymore but i don’t think she likes how it’s keeping me from social situations that involve other people being able to enjoy drinking.
It kinda makes me mad at myself that i fucked my privilege to drink and can no longer drink like a “grown” up.
I can’t stop thinking “had i not done this or had i not had too much to drink then” id still be able to par take in these simple little things in life.
I’m seriously confused.
@Rikk Sorry to say this, but I think that’s an awkward place for a baby shower… Your doing the right thing Rikk. If you know you’ll be tempted stay away. Your recovery comes first & your state of mind. I know the feeling of getting mad at oneself but the past is the past & should stay there. Hopefully your wife can understand. There’s plenty of places you can socialize that won’t inder your recovery! Hope it helps somewhat. Stay strong, you got this! Recovery is not easy but worth it because your worth it & your life matters!!! Blessings to you, I’ll be praying for you! Hugs* 
Thank you…
I know, i was thinking the same thing…stupid place for a baby shower but the girl having it works there so she’s probably getting free food and or drinks.
It just tripped me out how my wife reacted to me saying i wasn’t ready for that environment yet.
As if a month and 20 days is far enough into my sobriety it shouldn’t bother me being around it.
I remember when i was sober for 4 years and even then being in a bar or around people drinking would get under my skin like a tick.
I don’t know, maybe I’ll try and talk to her about it later…I’m just thinking she’s mad at the fact i can’t drink anymore because i can’t drink anymore.
@Rikk Well that makes sense somewhat, who would turn down a free event. Anyways, communication is key! Maybe your wife really wanted your company & not so much the drinking but you won’t know that unless you talk to her. Smile, life is beautiful, this too shall pass! Have a blessed day!
Don’t beat yourself up over something you can’t change. I think if you have the physiological make up to be an alcoholic and you drink at any pace it’s only a matter of time before you are an alcoholic. That’s my two cents anyways.