Honstly, I feel like I’m being punished for getting clean from heroin. I lost everything I worked so hard for. The house, car, job, family, friends and the only girl I’ve ever truly loved in my entire life.
Being sober and still miserable and depressed all the time is not what I want. I want my life the way it was but without the dope. But that’s not possible. Why can’t I just be happy?
How long did it take you to stop using heroin ? I bet not as long as you have been clean. It sucks but the only way its ever going to get better is if you move forward. It can/will get better. Maybe not on your time schedule but it will get better. It can also get so much worse. And you know that’s true. Stay strong. You can do this.
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I have no intention of going back to using. I know that it wouldn’t make anything better.
Of course my life wasn’t great but it was decent for being an addict.
When I decided to get honest and get help, I was exiled by all since they had no idea about it. They didn’t want anything to do with me. Still don’t.
It takes time. Spend some time and energy exploring what makes you happy now- without a life of H. Force yourself to stretch s little everyday to find or experience something that makes you feel good. If you’re anything like me you spent a lot of time going thru life on the drugs and booze. It’ll take time to establish a new way of lifestyle.
I guarantee it’s worth it. I have 556 days after decades of partying and I had absolutely no idea how much better life is in this side.
Are you putting together a program of tools? Support network?
You can do this and you can be happy.
Sounds pretty similar to my story. I have a program. Work hard at it. Pray and do the next right thing. The 9th step promises are definitely coming true for me. No reason they can’t come true for you if you work hard.