Hello everyone. Today I am starting my 1st ever serious battle against my addiction to porn and jerking off. First let me put forward the quanta of problem. I don’t just watch porn and jerk off once. I have atleast 3 sessions each day. In a single session I fap for like 3-4 times. Each session lasting 1-2 hours. So I am wasting a lot of time. Let’s delve a little more deep into this. Last year I stopped smoking. It’s been now almost 1year 8 months since I stopped smoking. I just went cold turkey on it. The problem with porn is , that unlike smoking, I don’t have to go to a shop and buy the packet of cigarettes, porn is easy access. So today I closed my eyes , put random password and limited all the adult contents on all of my devices so I can’t access it. 1st goal is to stop porn watching. Allowing myself only one masturbation a day as a night cap. Will update my status each day. Thanks everyone.
And one more thing, I think I just ended up replacing my smoking addiction with this. So I want to put down my goals here.
December 2016---- no porn, only masturabtion with daily limit of one. Will try to decrease masturabation frequency further.
Jan2017— no porn , no masturbation until I achieve my current life goal (sorry guys can’t write the goal). I hope to complete the goal by march or June2017.
July2017 now that I would have re-wired my brain, I will start jerking off if I feel like it. But no porn, no porn, never porn.
Today is my 12th day no porn no masturabstion
I’ve been in this more than 10 years , it’s hard to stop this addiction , but i have a goal i gotta achieve it , those past days i was dreaming a terrible dreams about porn today i had one , but i gotta keep going to get over this addiction , i hope your way will make you get over this addection
Thanks for joining me in my fight against this addiction. I hope both of us can fight this together. I know a lot of people don’t acknowledge porn and sex as addiction. But only the addicts know the difficulties. Please share more about your addiction. I hope I can learn from your experience. 
I started this when i was first grad prep school , unfortnatly my friend told me that , i was doing masturabtion about 3 or 4 times a day , i kept myself in this untill now , i can say i organized it lately when i was in collage , i was doing masturabtion once every week , everytime i do it i feel misery and i feel i didn’t had the power that i had before , so that reason is enough for me to stop masturabtion , i don’t want to destroy my life with my future partner because of this addiction . Today i make my 13th day no porn no masturabtion 
Hi. i got the same problem either. It’s hard but i am pretty sure that i can reach 40 days!
Iam on the same road this is a very tough habit because its a real battle. Been watching for 11 years an college it went out of control to 3 times a day 6 days aweek. I didnt accept it was a problem till earlier this year iam 28 days clean but i have relapsed numerous times before l previously reached 87 before i caved in an restarted
Hi guys please keep posting and sharing your experience…my BF is dealing with this, cheated on me several times with prostitutes ( I just found out but obviously I only know what I’ve been able to get him to tell me) since oct. he says he has not watched any porn and has limited masturbation to once every 2 weeks since we stopped having sex a month ago. Not sure I believe him. But either way I feel that having a better understanding and compassion for what he is going though can only make me a better person, regardless of weather or not we stay together.
Thanks again
@decided my husband and i have been battling this for three years. the first two years of our relationship was a constant struggled because both of us failed to reccognize his porn and sex addication. so many oeople dont even know its a problem, its terrifying. it completely changes the way you interact with and view others…having a relationship with a porn addict is very very challenging. my husband stays off it for lengths of time then repalses for a shirt period. i can always tell when he is going through a relapse, evem if ge doesnt tell me right away. its really hard for them to actually say outloud what they are doing, so you are right on with the compassion aspect. he has admitted his addiction to you and that is the hardest part. best of luck to you
Esh…thanks so much for responding. I’ve been dealing with this pretty much only with him or in therapy…no one to really discuss this with. Can I ask how you know he’s relapsing?
The lying is eating away at everything we had and if he keeps lying, it’s going to eat away at what’s left.
I keep thinking that I can love him and be there for him without exposing myself to the damage to causing me…I really don’t know what to do. My therapist says it’s still early to make any decisions.
Can I ask how you know when he is relapsing?
I’m finding this pretty heartbreaking…and dealing with this without alcohol and cigarettes is so hard I’m worried his possible inability to manage this issue with influence my ability to manage mine.
Btw, I also didn’t realize his porn use was an addiction and I should add that I caught him, he didn’t willingly admit to anything so I still don’t know what I didn’t catch.
@Decided and @jaimelee i can say as a porn addict it will be awhile for him to be fully honest with you about his addiction an its aspects. Since porn for guys has been very taboo were always afraid of the judgement of being called perverts etc. If his focus an energy is low, adjetated easily, tired all the time those are usually signs he might hav relapsed. Just hav a non judgy conversation with him thats why he will keep things from ya my therapist broke it down that i wasnt giving my exs my 100% because of porn an i felt there were alot of things i couldnt tell em
thank you, and those are definetly the signs he shows
Thanks for the reply! I was never offended by porn and he was open about it, I really kinda thought all guys did it and while I didn’t realize how much he was watching, it’s not something he felt he had to hide as per say, he even mentioned wanting to cut back but because I never actually saw him watching any porn ( even though we live together) Id agree since it was bugging him but not really follow up on it.
That having been said, it still does drive a wedge between 2 people in a relationship and since it’s been cut out, he seems more emotionally available. Problem is, it was cut out because I found out about the rest of it…so I’m not exactly up for sex anymore. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety.
The prostitutes and massage parlours were a complete shock to me, I always did my best to keep sex related topics open and he’s told me about his past experiences, I’m just surprised he would do them while in a relationship with me and have no problem being so deceitful.
I think all the signs were there, but with my unhealthy relationship history I wrote a lot of things off as acceptable when perhaps they shouldn’t have been.
I try to be as non judgmental as possible and am pretty open minded, I almost feel like that’s what bit me in the butt. The give an inch take a mile type of thing. It’s like I attract guys who take advantage of my not being judgemental and desire to understand. I say this because now that I understand more about how these things work, I realize that I’ve been in several variations of this same relationship before. At some point I have to ask myself why that it.
When he told me about his past behaviour while in a relationship with an ex, he assured me it was due to the nature of their relationship ( didn’t feel like he could share or be open etc) he reassured me that I couldn’t have been more accepting or open and that I didn’t have to worry because our relationship was the opposite.
Even now that the cat is out of the bag, he says there’s nothing I could have done differently. While I appreciate it, it doesn’t make me feel any safer.
I’ll look out for the symptoms you mentioned. I think he may already have relapsed but it may just be lack of sleep from the stress of the relationship falling apart/ his secret being out/ not having or using his habitual coaxing mechanisms.
Do you have any suggestions on healthy boundary setting? As someone who understands the other side, what do you think is fair ? Also, how are you managing masturbation now?
He’s down to once every 2 weeks…he finds this very hard as he usually does it every day, but is trying not to use it as a crutch to block out difficult emotions or situations. I don’t really know what to tell him because anything sexual from him is a panic trigger at the moment, though I do acknowledge masturbation on some level to be normal. Just don’t know where that line is or how to find it.
Thanks again for your insight 
@jaimelee. and @Decided the other thing both of you need to answer is what kind of content is your man watching ( it will say alot about him having trouble especially if you notice he is havin problems getting an erection for you an if he is escalting to more extreme content thats not good either)
the reason i ask because for me i only watched girl on girl an group videos for years. An when it came to an actual naked woman in front me it was a task to get hard because i seen every dirty thing an it was always multiple women so one girl couldnt get me going.
I hav relapsed numerous times from last year because thats when it sank i was addicted i left 4 very dissatisfied women because of my habit. Quiting cold turkey is super hard because almost any picture or hours of boredom can set you off.
You should definately do counsiling an just have your guy take it a step at a time survive a day without any lewd content. Then just see how he feels the next day or occupy his time with something. He needs to reboot his brain because of years of porn content conditioning. Or simply ask him what is it about porn that you cant offer an keep giving him facts that porn is fake its not real it looks real but they are performing.
Let him hear stories of guys going through nofap an have him read up on sexual exhaustion too. But mostly jus keep having honest talks with him
Iam doing an feeling alot better almost 17 days counsiling has helped me alot to realise about myself an the guilt i hav been carrying cuz i jus never had an honest conversation with anyone about sex. I just keep working an journal how i feel if iam triggered. I use a method called STAND wich breaks down to
Stop and breath
Take inventory of how i feel
Ask myself what i need
Need ( what i need to do different)
Do something different
An i keep watching no fap videos to jus hear frm someone that there is hope i hav listend to even pornstars saying why porn affects your brain an how it does it.
Before it all came to light I thought he wasn’t interested in sex anymore. Now that he’s not watching pornnir masturbating, he’s feeling sexually rejected by me because I no longer feel safe having sex with him. It seems like he was watching mostly manual and oral videos. He took his fantasies into the real world so I’m not sure the porn progressed as much… I think his interaction with sex workers evolved rather quickly though. I was pretty surprised to find out his porn consumption was so…standard? I was expecting more out of the ordinary stuff.
Actually come to think of it, he couldn’t never finish during intercourse, only with manual stimulation by himself or someone else…just like with the porn he would watch.
Does no frap mean absolutely no masturbation at all? Ever?
I really like that stand method! I will check that out for sure and recommend it to him.
So I guess it’s fair to assume that he’s probably relapsed and is hiding it.
It’s probably more realistic to believe he still hasn’t told me the truth about how much he was consuming.
Well this is both a bummer and a little reassuring in that I feel like at least I’m getting the truth from somewhere.
One thing I must say and keep in mind is that his really is very similar to alcohol addiction / obsession. I feel like this should make it super easy for me to understand but the dishonesty makes me want to run.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience, it’s really helpful to hear this stuff from someone other than him.
So no fap can be done many ways its mostly for life but he can make goals. Its mostly becoming a better version of yourself
Like not wanking, watching or seeking porn an only having orgasm with a real person. Its tought but again if he takes it day by day and doesnt bust off if he reaches a goal date.
Start small 1 day at a time then more days.
I will say i feel him going for massage parlors an prostitutes might be because you and him are not havin sex. If your not givin it to him he seeks it else where an sadly the massage lady an the prostitute will not care about his condition or make him feel judged he is just a customer to them
Just like we watch porn cuz not only is it fantasy but there is no judgement at all we can fast forward an rewind to what ever gets us excited. It goes back to what my therapist said about giving your 100% to your partner an if you give em 100% then there is no need for porn.
I suggest watching DonJohn the movie it hits porn addiction pretty good on a dudes perspective
Just to be clear, he didn’t start cheating because we weren’t having sex I STOPED having sex because I found out he was cheating. I think that’s both a fair, safe and natural reaction.
We watched Don Juan! He said he could relate. I just hope I can find a way to be supportive of his recovery, making sure I make my own emotional well being and safety a priority.
This whole event has taken a tole on my self esteem and triggered symptoms of post traumatic stress.
We are taking a trip next week so we will see how it goes! I get triggered a lot so it’s most likely going to be a bit bumpy, but maybe we can use it to bond.
Oooh ok that makes sense you have every right to do that.
Don jon made me sad at times because i saw alot in myself from the movie like how he enjoyed porn and couldnt stop thinking about it.
You can always support him in the recovery its not just about breaking a habit or stopping. Its just becoming a better version of yourself and becoming a better you porn will drive wedges in your life plus you waste alot of time surfing the net for content.
I cant even digest how many hours of my life i wasted watching an seeking porn content.
But i hope you and your guy figure something out on your trip. That will be a good time to reflect an answer questions