My best friend and fiance is leaving me this morning. Because I’m an alcoholic and sexually dysfunctional. We have broken up many times. This time she isn’t coming back. Moving from Kansas to Louisiana. Being alone is absolutely my worst nightmare. I think loneliness is why I started drinking in the first place. I have no idea how to be sober long term especially without her in my life. Being alone all the time will make it harder not to drink all the time. Of course when she was here I didn’t appreciate anything she did for me. I was content as long as I knew she was coming back. Well she isn’t coming back this time. I don’t know how I can do this!?
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I am sorry to hear about your situation! that is realy f… up I can imagine. I have no idea either but… I do know that you took one right step comming here. I relate to the addict behaviour when feeling loneley. I have the same since a few months when my life kinda fell apart and am not in a situation to build new friendships or relationships. If you want we can hold each other accountable here.
Hang in there. for now just breath and make it thought the day
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I understand this is most probably feeling like maybe one of the lowest point for you right now ,but take it as a cross roads in your life ,
so you now choose feeling broken knowing you are an addict and need help and start reaching out for that help that could be making a Dr appt,looking up a aa meeting ,phone your local drug and alcohol support service, reaching out on here,or you take the other you ,you sit in selp pity keep drinking and destroy yourself and loved ones more than you have already,I believe things happen for a reason ,maybe now your broke up here’s your opportunity to build back up the prices of your broken heart and life , nothing more rewarding than starting at the bottom and shapeing your new tomorrow.,please seek professional guidance before stopping drinking but make that appt sooner rather than later,as our addict brain will keep you on hold for as long as possible break thru and make that appointment.kerp reading keep reaching out your in a safe place,put the work in your get it. Back ten fold but I’m afraid to say recovery and soberity will not come a knocking at your door.all the best
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Youre stepping in the right direction by posting here instead of grabbing a bottle. The biggest thing Ive learned in sobriety is the power of positiviity. I know this seems like a low point, but try and find the positive. Maybe this is the rock bottom that will be the solid foundation you need to get and stay sober. Maybe your Higher Power is removing her from your life to make room for who youre really supposed to be with. I would suggest making a doctors appointment and going to an AA meeting. Staying sober may not bring her back, but drinking will only compound feelings of depression and delay the healing process. Make the way your feeling the fire you use to fuel a real life change. Start doing the work it takes to stay sober, work on yourself and make the positive changes you need to so you dont have to feel like this again. Theres a ton of support out there and here on the app. Use it. I know my life isnt perfect, but I also know when I truly focus on my sobriety and remain positive, everything else just falls into place. Focus on one day at a time. You will get past this.
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Just curious you and someone else said make a Dr’s appointment. What kind of Dr? And what would the purpose be? Honest question
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I spoke to my primary care Dr about getting help with my drinking.
She prescribed me medication that helped with the cravings.
I imagine they could help get you into a rehab detox, or in/out patient program as well
Glad your here. What a great first step
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Sorry that you are going through this. I think every life has its share of emotional catastrophes that shape and define us. In this there is a choice. You can choose to crawl inside your emotional cave and seal the entrance with a boulder of addiction, or you can choose to go through the grieving and healing process. If you choose the former, it will be a painful death. Choosing the latter is a chance at finding happiness, and maybe, just maybe, a portion or two of joy.
I hope you choose life. I hope you choose sobriety.
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The above was the choice I was faced with. I chose life. Mostly because I had already died a mental, emotional and spiritual death by holling up in my cave for too long. Make the other choice.
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Just giving up alcohol can be very dangerous,so go to Dr so you can be referred to an alcohol support service or the Dr can help you go explain and be honest and I promise you,you will come outta there with more options then when you went in.
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The reason I suggested it (I can only speak for myself) is because of the dangers of alcohol withdrawl. Just a precaution to consult your primary care doctor. I dont know the amount or frequency of the OP drinking, but I know a few people personally that had to be hospitalized in order to safely withdraw. Like I said just a precaution. Also here in southeast Michigan the quickest way to get into a rehab is to go to the ER first, they have CARE representives in all our hospitals that will transition you straight to a rehab with an available bed, which if you qualify, is at no cost.
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You say you wouldn’t know how to stay sober without her…
But you weren’t sober with her either right.
So her leaving isn’t changing that.
I hope you’ll find the spirit to see that this all evolves around and inside you.
The loniless isn’t the issue really, it’s the thoughts we don’t like (and our addiction does) they get all the room they need to push us over the edge.
So I understand this might come of a bit upfront but really… It is up to you to save you. Just accept that you are powerless over this monster in your mind and seek help for it.
Your new life can start today but only if we act, only if we move, only if we acknowledge.
Good luck on this hefty period in your life.
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I feel you brother. My wife served me the day after my birthday last month while I was in rehab. I thought about drinking so badly. I was hurt angry felt abandoned and I wanted to go away but I thought really hard. Looking back at my 14 year run with alcohol drinking if I’m honest with myself never really made anything go away if anything it only added to my problems and more loss. Loss of jobs family helth my license with 4 duis. So instead I embraced those feelings and used them. Got a gym membership I go to 5 days a week, I started eat healthy, going back to school, staying active in meetings, checking in with others I met in the program daily, I signed up to volunteer at my VA. I know it wont bring back my wife I’ve moved way past that. I do it to prove I’m not a lost cause. If no one else will believe in me I need to believe in myself. You need to to believe in your self. There are 2 types of people. Fighters and victims. Dont let yourself be the victim anymore. Be a fighter!
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I can totally relate to your story and situation. Same thing is happening to me except their not moving out of state. What I’ve done and still trying to maintain is not drinking, going to the gym, save money, spend time with my kids. Once I get a clear mind and back on track and find out who I really am everything will work out.
You can do this
Get rid of any alcohol at home
Get some support in place.
And commit to this. You can do this
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August 2018
Im may not be the best to comment on this topic but. We talked about something similar in AA the other night. I feel like I learned this. I hope you think what Im saying pertains. But getting worked up about something someone else is or isn’t doing in the end only hurts you. If it upsets you it sets the stage for anger etc… Which for me leads to substance abuse. Being sober is about more the substance abuse. It also about self awarness and healing in all aspects of your life. Because it won’t get easier with sobriety. You will always have challenges.
I saw this on your profile from way back; I thought it may help to put things in perspective. I know your heart hurts but look at the big picture, you’ve been trying and you will get through this. 
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Wow thanks!
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I’m sorryim a nice person
Please elaborate.