I don’t know why I do this to myself. 21 days sober and I had 8 beers last night. I’m awake at 5am and feel like throwing up. I don’t know what to do anymore. Feel like a failure and just want to escape. Toxic relationship and it’s hard to leave. I’m at a loss
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@Celia_Menzie Remember that you had 21 days. That is something that can’t be taken away from you. Pick yourself up and recommit. We all fall, you just need to stand back up.
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You’ll get back there to 21 days again and beyond, you came back here! “Remember that we deal with alcohol- cunning, baffling, powerful.” It’s true, it tricks us into succumbing . You aren’t a failure. Stay strong, and stay sober. Try again! You can do it!
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I’ve been struggling lately too. I am hungover this morning and threw up twice. I’m shaky, cold, fatigued… I hate feeling this way and am writing down my emotions and physical feelings for a relapse plan suggested by @Oliverjava.
I really want this to be my last day 1. The hangovers get worse and worse each relapse because I abstain for longer stretches every time.
I hope you feel better today.
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I’m feeling better today. Trying not to beat myself up. I spent yesterday on the couch all day. Not a good feeling at all. Moving forward… thanks for your responses to my post. It’s good to know I’m not alone and there’s people out there who care.
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That’s my day today… hopefully I’ll be able to nap it off. I have so much to do and school work to do. Kids are being angels, as usual. They think I have the flu but my oldest knows.
I’m glad you are up and feeling better today! I’m trying not to beat myself up too bad, too. It’s easy to do when you’re not feeling well, unproductive and sick all because of bad choices 
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I hear ya… I got two boys home with me and they’re wild, loud, needy. Trying to keep up with them and I know I have to be sober. It’s easy to get off the wagon, I had 21 days sober and drank Thursday night like I hadn’t stopped at all. Ugh. The madness. I don’t want that feeling anymore and it’s crazy my thought process when I’m sober for an extended time. I feel like I’m missing out, missing something, sad, lonely, depressed… it’s not easy but great things don’t come easy… I’m taking my boys out for a walk despite the nasty cold weather, in hopes of higher feelings… try and enjoy the positives in the remainder of this day💙
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Never forget that relapsing is all part of the process of getting sober. We’ve all done it, I’ve done it a couple times myself. But like the other comment I read was saying, it doesn’t take away those days you did have sober. The relapse doesn’t define you and doesn’t mean you can’t beat this. You definitely can. And I can sympathize with the situation of an unhealthy relationship, I know how hard it can be to leave even if you want to. Abusers will tend to use ways to manipulate you into staying, emotionally, financially or physically. But if you need help, depending on where you live there should be organizations that can help you make that decision. Be strong and believe in yourself. And if you ever need someone to listen, you can always hit me up. I know I’m a stranger but I’ll help in anyway I can.