I was sober for 6 months the 18 months ago when I first realised I had a problem. 3 months into this sobriety I got into a relationship with a narcissist. The toxicity, abuse, stress, drama and self worth issues that came from this relationship 100% played a part in me relapsing.
I’m finally away from him and I am 2 weeks sober and very determined to heal and recover, in relation to him as much as my addiction.
I can now see the importance of being single in sobriety. I am aware not everyone I meet is going to be abusive or toxic but it isn’t worth my sobriety, nothing is.
How long is it sensible to stay single for on this journey?
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It is sensible to stay single as long as you need to be. The right person will come along and you will know it.
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I felt extremely lonely my first six months into recovery. I have been sober over a year now and looking back I can see that the loneliness stemmed from me still wanting to fill that hole left behind from quitting alcohol. It could have very easily been sex, food, cigarettes, lottery tickets, energy drinks. . . I restrained myself and took the time to find meaningful ways to fill that emptiness. I’ll be 13 months sober on February 4th and I’m content being single. I feel like when I do find someone who I’m interested in dating, I’ll be more prepared to discern what is right for me and better capable of setting those healthy boundaries.
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