Single mom advice/ new to this

I’m on my own with my girls, I’m trying REALLY hard lately to not turn to drinking during the days when I’m home with housework or even at night. As soon as I’m flustered, frustrated, sad, anxious, overwhelmed, I feel myself instantly turning to a glass of wine or a beer…then 12 later I’m drunk, make an ass of myself, and am hung over the next day and feel like a terrible mother! I have tried this whole “That’s it, I’m done, I’m not drinking anymore” thing pretty much at least twice a week when I wake up with terrible anxiety about getting drunk the day or night before. It’s so stupid to me, why just why can I NOT DRINK. I went through 3 pregnancies completely sober then it’s like as soon as I had my babies, I started the bad habit again. I really want to stick to this, i want less anxiety, to be healthy, loose weight and most of all not be hung over and be a better mother. Any tips or any single parents out there overwhelmed and then to alcohol to just help cope. :weary:

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Welcome to the forum Ashley. There’s so much information on here that I’ve found very useful. You can search topics by using the magnify glass at the top.

I’m not a single mom even though it feels like I am most of the time. I have a special needs daughter that tries my patience every day.

I find woman AA meetings very helpful and I’ve met some wonderful woman to help me along in this journey that understand what it’s like to juggle life sober. I wish you the best and hope to see you on here sharing and reaching out.

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Glad your here
I’m not a single mother but I am an alcoholic mother of 2 daughters.
I did lots of things in the beginning of my sobriety to stay sober
Listen to AA podcasts
Watched movies about alcohol/recovery
Read books on it
Asked for help
Talking to my dr was probably one of the best things I ever did. She prescribed me medication that really helped with the cravings.
Was it hard to admit I was an alcoholic? You bet, but not as hard as being drunk/hung over trying to take care of my family, ruining my life one day at a time
Joined AA
Sounds like you won’t have much free time. So meetings may be difficult. But there are tons of people staying sober without them
I had to do everything and anything I could you stay sober.
As for relaxing
I meditate
Yoga
Read
Clean
Walk a lot
Take showers
Come here
Play games on my phone.
Anything but drink

Do you have any support?
Friends
Family
Church
I would not be sober without the help of others.
You can do this.
Just take it one day one hour one moment at a time

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Hello and welcome.

Single mom of 2 littles ages 8 and 13. (Bless it)

I keep lots of crafts, card games and easy desserts ready to make/do with or without the littles.

We spend a lot of time outside and I spend a lot of time on pinterest planning ideas, meals and crafts while they ride thier bikes.

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Hello and welcome!

One option to consider is the Annie Grace 30 day experiment. It’s free and online. After you register, you’ll receive a daily email with a link to the website. There’s a daily topic with some info, plus at least one video, and then some questions to ask yourself. (like what do I get from drinking?).

Not everyone likes it, but it’s worked very well for a few of us. I don’t think you have anything to lose by trying.

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I don’t really have any support because I have not yet admitted anything to anyone close to me yet, as my friends all drink a lot, and my family is very judgmental, I actually just started attending church, maybe joining a sober group there would help, I know they have one. As far as anyone else close to me I planned on keeping my sobriety a secret and kind of just disconnecting myself with my friends who drink, because to be honest they only call me to get drunk and i can just simply say “yea I stopped drinking” and that will end that. And for my family I’m just simply not going to say anything because to be honest no one really knows how bad it is because I pull it off so well and seem to be able to do everything I’m supposed to do so it’s not noticeable to the outside world, but it’s killing me inside.

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I’m glad you have started at a new church.
The help I receive from other alcoholics is priceless. They understand my crazy thoughts. They give suggestions that have helped them. Lots of their ideas have helped me stay sober.
You can have a sober life.
It was tough in the beginning, but it is so worth it.
Keep reaching out
We are all here to help each other.

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Its great your making an effort.
One way i stopped drinking was not to keep it in the house an not hanging wit people who does.
Also itvwas difficult,but lately I thought of the bad ways it made my body feel

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Hi @AStone88 I feel for you! I am a single mom and while I only have one kid, he has a chronic disease that demands high maintenance- type one diabetes. And, I have a mean vindictive ex-husband who is always threatening me if I don’t do what he says (which I never do)

I’m going to share with you what one person told me 15 years ago that I regret not heeding. Stop drinking now because it will get worse. If you know you have a problem now with alcohol it will only progress due to the nature of our alcohol abuse. Your problems will get worse.

I’m 3 years sober and it’s the best decision I ever made. If you really want to stop then make the decision and do everything in your power to stop. There are a ton of resources out there for people who want to be alcohol free. This Forum is chock full of advice. Get a support network. Put being sober first. Get some time under your belt. It gets easier. You deserve it. Your kids deserve it.

I have been shocked to learn that life is actually easier without the shackles of alcohol.

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There are a lot of call in meetings. It’s probably very difficult for you to just up and go to a meeting since you’ve got little children at home that you can’t leave.

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How do i find these?

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Many online programs, such as AA, SMART, Dharma Recovery etc. “In the Rooms” is the AA online program.

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Single mom here. You are not alone. My kiddos are older, ages 12 and 16, but I’ve been single since 2012. Just know that you are not alone. Go to some meetings and find some fellowship. It’s :eye: opening how many of us have the same struggles. Try to laugh some as well.

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Hm… Emptiness lead to repeatition of any habbit. One can not escape unless that emptiness is filled up. It seems that after returning home from office , feelings emerges that one’s life is robotic with no enthusiasm and then negative flash back of past events further give strength to it. Leads to alcohol or drugs , etc.

Hence, If you have any close friends (good one , not any addict) or close relative (trust worthy) , you may talk to them whenever you feel like drinking alcohol or Drug , etc. Countinue such activity till 21+21 Days. It will replace the habbit of drinking with talking with friends and all the negative thoughts will go away. :slightly_smiling_face:

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AA sober voices telephone meetings

An article on this group was in this month’s Grapevine magazine!

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How did that go? DUI with a child in the car.

That is great advice. Lots of things to do to keep our minds busy.