So it’s been about a year now that I’ve been trying to get this recovery thing. I am heroin addict and I was homeless before going into rehab. My first time was January 29th I entered an in-patient facility for a 7-Day Detox was transferred facilities and given a 45-day bed I got high and treatment and I got kicked out. I called the same place every day for the next month until I could get back in this time they gave me a 60-day bed when I had about 2 weeks left I was caught with a cell phone and fraternizing with a man so I was kicked out again. I moved in with a man that my family has called a friend for a very long time none of us were aware that he used and sold speed so I convinced him to let me try it I got addicted to that and he fed my habit for free. I left there because I decided I wanted to be clean and I moved in with my dad in the beginning of August. The problem I’m having is I get anywhere from a few weeks to little more than a month clean and then I slip up and use for one or two days then get clean again and this pattern has been repeating itself since october. I feel so amazing when I’m not under the Influence then all of a sudden I wanna get high and I do. I don’t feel going back to another inpatient facility is right for me, I have been to 3 and it hasn’t been succesful. I’m thinking of enrolling in an outpatient and going to local meetings in hopes that it will help but I’m really afraid that it won’t I want to be clean and sober and if I get caught using I will go back to being homeless and having nobody while sober I have a home a bed food I’m in contact with all of my family again and I want it to stay that way. I’m just not sure what the right thing to do is and I’m afraid I don’t want to keep failing. I’m posting this to see if anyone has gone through this phase and their recovery or anyone in recovery that can maybe could give me some advice.
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There are many, many things that you need to think about on your journey to sobriety. I think an important one for you would be to identify your triggers. What was the trigger when you used at the in-patient facility? I image you had to go out of your way to get the drugs.
Also, don’t give up on in-patient facilities. They can be amazing. Failure is common, but it’s all about carrying on trying instead of giving up on it.
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