2 weeks ago I went on another huge bender. Wife came home to find me slumped and drunk yet again. Gave me, what is this time, absolutely my last chance. Crossroads time: sobriety, recovery, happiness or alcohol, loneliness, misery. I’ve worked everything in the past 2 weeks: loads of aa meetings, calls and texts to aa peers, alcohol related audio books, masses of sole searching and self analysis, huge amounts of self honesty, daily prayer, sober time app, joining this forum and engaging…the list goes on. This morning my wife gave me a kiss on her way out the door. Our first physical contact or semblance of any kind of normality in 2 weeks. A tiny moment but for me, hugely significant. As part of my recovery, I’ve tried to share and help others, on here and at aa, by sharing my story and what I’m doing. I would now say through your recoveries…when you get a moment, a thing, a bit of your better/old/dream life back…hold it, use it, say yes…this is better, this is forwards, this is progress, this is what I actually want, this is so much better than all the hangovers, deceit, lies, shame, guilt, humiliation, self degradation…this is sobriety…and I’m keeping THIS and I no longer want or need THAT.
Stay strong. Always keep in your minds what you want and what you don’t want.
