So annoyed. Is it possible to just drink once a week?

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Ilovevodka49
1d
Just new to this site and day 4 of sobriety. Tentatively trying to feel my way around here and hoping I can find the support to keep taking one day at a time to keep off the drink. I need to and want to. Any advise gratefully received

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1d
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21m
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Charlie_C
1d
you are so welcome here - lots of great helpful people just wanting to give you some experience, strength and hope!

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Ilovevodka49

1d
Thank you I’m a pretty private person but I’m hoping in time I can open up on here. Meanwhile it gives me hope to read the stories and makes me feel human to see I’m not alone

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Charlie_C

1d
Please - just read and read and read. You don’t have to share until you are ready.

:relaxed:Ilovevodka49 reacted with :relaxed:

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CaptAZ
Regular
1d
Welcome to forum. Lots of living happens here, both good and bad.

Charlie_C:
You don’t have to share until you are ready.
He’s absolutely right. Read and relate. Look for the similarities, you’ll likely find many. Use the search bar at the top as most everything thay goes through our demented minds has been posted and discussed.

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TracyLeigh
1d
I know what both feel like; living vs. existing… like heaven vs. hell. You will find answers here, direction and you may even see your story, written in the words of others. Stay. Read. Share when you’re ready. Really glad you’re here & Congratulations on day 4 @Ilovevodka49 :hugs:

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Frank68
1d
Welcome ! I know the feeling. I would wake up, go to work, come home, rinse and repeat.

I made it a point to do things I’ve never done of felt uncomfortable doing. I started volunteering at meetings so now I have gotten to know a bunch of new awesome people. I go to the gym, started a course on becoming a trainer, and jump at anything new that comes along.

Also this forum is great. Awesome people to get support from and have fun with.

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SweetTea
1d
I’m back on here after months of chaos and am almost 4 days sober. This is a place of healing imo.

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JustAguy
1d
Existing without using is really good enough for quite a while. Even if it isn’t fully living yet, it beats the sh*t out of addiction hell.
The living part does come, a little bit more every day.

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Ilovevodka49

21m
Well I’m ashamed to say day 5 didn’t go so well. Came home from work and it was sunny and summery and boyfriend wanted a drink. He is also an alcoholic but not fully ready to face it. I said I didn’t want to drink and his response was oh I thought you just weren’t drinking during the week but I won’t drink in front of you it wouldn’t be fair. So I said thanks that’s great. But then I felt bad as I knew he wanted to and I also knew I had been thinking about it at work myself. Shame faced I have to admit I conceded and drank. Sitting here this morning thinking why did I bother and having a slight hangover that means my day won’t be the productive one I wanted. No one to blame but myself and I’m really upset with me

Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve tried many times to limit my intake and it never worked out well. I’m only at day 10, but when my cravings hit, I’ll go for a long walk, or hop on my bike OR make myself a spicy chicken fajita. My own taste, but the flavors do it for me. Maybe go for a walk while your boyfriend has a drink. Sounds like he’d understand. Stay possitive! You can do this.:blush:

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Yeah I can drink once a week. I can start Friday night and finish on Thursday night. If I don’t stop drinking the entire week that only counts as once right?

That’s how quickly our thinking can turn against us. No one came to this forum bc we were singing to loud in the church choir. We practice abstinence bc controlled drinking only ended with us being controlled by the drink.

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Sure 1 drink a week is possible, lots of norms drink that way.

Real question, is it possible for you? Is it possible to have one and not go buckwild and drive back up to the store for another 5th while you’re smashed?

This is an app for sobriety, something brought you to this juncture and it’s not likely to be moderate drinking.

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I understand that I guess I was just trying to fool myself. But are you saying that as this is an app for sobriety if I slip up I shouldn’t be on here? I’m confused

Of course not. Most of us have slipped. But we can’t tell you how to drink in moderation bc that doesn’t exist for us. We can only tell you what we did to stop drinking completely

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@Englishd and @anon37742172 covered it. If you’re here to quit, you’re in the right place. If you want to try moderate drinking most of us have no idea how to do that.

If I were to drink I’d awaken the cravings beast. I never ever set out to have 1 drink, when I drink I hope to limit the damage to a 5th. Drinking today leads to drinking tomorrow for me.

Funny you guys mention counting 5 continuous days as 1, because my work actually does that with calling in. 1 day can be stretched to 5 and only count as 1 absence. I abused the holy hell out of that. Probably the only reason I lasted at the job as long as I have.

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If I take the first drink I lose the ability and right to choose anything in life. After the first drink alcohol is making ALL the decisions in my life…this sadly includes when the alcohol wants to be consumed. Meaning even if I thought I’d only drink for one night…I don’t have any say in when I will stop…and Usually in my latest cases of relapses it only ends if I am hospitalized. And that is if I’m lucky. my next drink might well lead to my death. I have no doubt that it is a realistic possibility. If we were able to control our drinking this application would not exist. UGH!!

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For me - it’s all or nothing. My light is on or off - no dimmer switch. I have to go total abstinence because there is no such thing as one and done for my brain. Sometimes I think, just a sip. But a sip turns into a guzzle, a guzzle turns into a glass, a glass turns into 10, then I’m hungover the next day and I think just a hair of the dog and then end up on a 5 day bender. No controlled drinking for me. Stay strong and follow your gut…

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I know. Thank you all I’m most definitely not being flippant by being on here I want so much to never need a drink again and I AM trying … but I’m human and not always successful but I’m determined to keep trying … with your help. I do also understand that my boyfriends sobriety is his responsibility and mine is mine but relationships aren’t always black and white. He said he wouldn’t drink if I didn’t want him too so I guess I made the choice using him as an excuse. Just got to keep moving forward now one day at a time . During the 4 days I was sober (sounds like nothing ) I slept so very well the 3rd and 4th night and felt so positive . I want to have that all the time. I will stay on here and pray for strength

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You can do this Ladycakes! We’re all here to support you! Reach out whenever you need to and reach out when you don’t as well. I’m sure you have a lot in you that could help the rest of us here.

[quote=“CaptAZ, post:5, topic:40715”]
Sure
[/quote]no I don’t believe or IS possible for me

It is an app for people pursuing sobriety. Many have “slipped” or relapsed since joining. Me? I was here a month in 2016, relapsed in January 2017, ans spent most of that year trying to “control” my drinking, or drink like a “normal” person. Some days I could go without, and some I drank “like a normal person”, but most days I drank like an alcoholic. That’s the problem with me. Wasn’t till I admitted that “control” is outside of my “control”, did I accept that I can never drink again.

And not long after, I EMBRACED that I can never drink again. The question was settled. No longer open to internal debate. No longer left to chance. The certainty of this brought me immense peace.

So, if you are even considering sobriety as a way of life, you are in the right place. If you try and slip, you are in the right place. If you relapse and are gone for a time, but come back with the lessons and experience, ready to try again, you are still in the right place.

Welcome. I hope you find that which you are seeking.

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Hello @adeygaga49, I’m coming late to this conversation because I’ve had a day from hell with my husband who was going cold turkey (and isn’t anymore but IS unconscious courtesy of several cans and a big bottle) so I can relate. It took me ten years to realise that NO ONE can make me drink, not even him. Not even when he’s shoving a drink in my face saying ‘go on babe’, no one can make me drink except me. That’s much easier said than done, which is why it’s taken me ten years to get to this point with him. Me giving up completely is why he’s so angry with life and mostlynwith me - if I don’t join in with his drinking, his own behaviour is highlighted - but as he says ENDLESSLY…”I’m NOT an alcoholic!!” Sound familiar anyone!!! If your relationship is strong enough it will survive you being sober and making better choices for yourself. If it doesn’t survive, it’s not strong enough and you’re better to know sooner rather than later. Please don’t get me wrong I know that sounds harsh, I completely understand your inner conflict and confusion and pain - I’ve lived it myself for years. Be true to yourself my dear. We are all here for you

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I used to say this. Now I don’t. If drinking gets in the way of your life, you are abusing alcohol. If life is getting in the way of your drinking, then you are most certainly an alcoholic.

I realized that life was getting in the way of my drinking. When the shift from abusing alcohol to alcoholism happened, I cannot say, but I’ll bet I was drunk at the time.

No more. I am free, and intend to stay this way, for the rest of my life.

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Have you considered a recovery program? Or even Al-Anon to learn how to live with someone who drinks to much

@Yoda-Stevie thank you so much for this. If he ever stops being angry enough to actually talk to I will tell him what you said. It makes unbelievable sense, I’m so grateful

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