I’ve been sober for 17 days. I’ve been spending insane hours working at the hospital this week and I don’t know if I’ve ever needed a drink so badly. The reasons why I got sober in the first place have faded a bit and don’t seem so important or bad now. I really don’t know how long I can hold out for.
I got sober because I hit my lowest point, which was finding myself being pulled out of a car after we’d hit a house. I was blackout and so was the driver. I’m lucky that I wasn’t driving, and that no one was hurt.
I thought then that I could control my drinking, and my actions. I know nothing has changed. But it’s so hard. I don’t think I can do this for life.
Keep playing the tape, all the way through. Kill the romance of the drink. Did you enjoy crashing into a house? Don’t ever forget why you are trying to get sober in the first place.
I couldn’t have said this better myself! It’s hard. We’ve programmed ourselves to think we “need” to drink through everything. Stressed? Happy? Sad? Celebrating? Everything! We don’t need to do stop drinking forever, just for today. Today I will be sober. And tomorrow you do that again. Tonight I will have 152 days in a row I’ve done that, this is the longest I’ve gone without a drink since I was a teenager. I KNOW you can do this! Hugs!
Hey buddy, sorry you’re going through a long week. You don’t need a drink, you WANT a drink. Or even better…there’s is a part of your brain, addicted to a steady stream of a toxin that would prefer that you keep feeding it that toxin. I’m not trying to sound like a dick, I say it bc I have the same feelings some time…and if my brain keeps saying “I need I need I need” then the other voice is like “well dear god get the girl a drink! Poor thing!”
If I define things more clearly…I tend to be able to think about it with a little more distance and I can RESPOND as opposed to REACTING.
Is there something else you can do to de stress? Hot tub? Massage? Go to the gym? You’ve awesomely figured out that tired and stressed is a big trigger for you (me too!). Try coming up with a list of other things that truly help you to relax. I don’t think I could count the number of chair massages and Epsom salt baths I took in my first month of sobriety
Keep fighting the good fight. And congratulations on your 17 days!!!
Oh! And Thank you for saving animals…this fur mom of two loves you for it🐶
This is a screenshot from a separate thread here. You say that the reasons you quit arent as important anymore. But I dont think that’s really true, unless you want to end up right back where you were before. You have made a lot of progress. Dont let yourself get back to that place.
Fantastic, I’m really glad to hear it. Two weeks today?! Amazing accomplishment! Is there something you can do to celebrate? It sounds like your best celebration might be going to bed and sleeping as long as you can😂 but, either way, I hope you get to do something good for yourself today❤️
Much Love,
Ely
You’ve never in your life needed a drink. You’ve wanted one. You are playing a mental game with yourself. You think you are close to breaking sobriety? This is another game. You are no closer than I am, on day 249, and you are just as close as I am.
We are both only one drink away from breaking sobriety. @BondJaneBond, in her 3rd decade of sobriety, is only one drink away.
I do not fear this fact. I embrace it. I embrace it because it puts the battle in perspective. I only have to say “no” to one drink: the first drink. Everytime I do, I win. 100%. I like that.
I too have been working non stop lately. If anything a drink (which could never be just 1) would do soooo much damage. I would be hungover and would not be able to get the things I needed to do done. Also anything I did get done would not be my best work.
As time passes it’s normal to forget what it was like or how bad we were and not happy. I find that going to beginner meetings helps me. I go to a rehab center for a meeting and see people who are like the way I was and that helps me remember the way I never want to be again.
Am going to celebrate. .I would never have thought of it only u said it… so I will go to bed early with a hot chocolate and a big bag of cherries… ooohh how things have changed lol:wink:
Woo!! Sounds like my kind of party🎉
I hear you…it takes a hot minute to start realizing that you can substitute healthy stuff for alcohol…and I’ve found that it’s helpful when you get a craving to figure out why you want a drink and substitute accordingly celebratory craving? Hot chocolate and cherries! Or some ice cream. Stressed craving? Chair massage and Epsom salt bath. Bored or sad craving? A nice hike and dinner with a friend. (These are obviously just suggestions) but having that list can help us start to discover the subtle nuances of what cravings really are and how to satisfy in ways that build us up rather than pull us down. It was funny when I realized that my weekend long binges from being “stressed and tired at the end of a long week” just left me feeling physically terrible and woefully under prepared for the next week, which in turn would lead to the same cravings at the end of the next week. On the weekends now, I do stuff that ACTUALLY recharges me and brings me up a few points energetically so that I can head into the next week I’m a better place than I was, not worse. Cheers to hot chocolate and cherries, and cheers to YOU!
Much Love,
Ely
The reasons why I got sober in the first place have faded a bit and don’t seem so important or bad now.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but two weeks ago you crashed into a house during a blackout?? That’s denial my friend. That’s our disease minimizing its misery and wanting to be #1 in your life again…
You know how I look at your event two weeks ago? Someone powerful was looking out for you BIG TIME! How fortunate that no one was killed inside that house or inside the car. I look at it as a humbling, terrifying close call!
Don’t GIVE the thoughts any power. don’t pay them homage, or quake in their presence, let them pass.
How? Practice my friend. lots and lots of practice. repetition, consistency in response. no means no. Like @Yoda-Stevie said, you only need to say no once… to that first drink. And you only need to do this for one day, not forever.
We’re all in the same boat. Surrounding yourself with survivors from this shipwreck will help flip your perspective & give you strength to draw on, when you feel like yours isn’t enough. Be it reading, meetings, recovery programs, sober friends, this app. Surround yourself with people who have the perspective you want…and you’ll get it.
I always have a choice too, I chose not to drink today. Because I remember it’s devastation vividly. Join me
When you keep drinking everything is just going to keep getting worse. Maybe you just hit a house this time but what about next time you guys are blackout drunk driving? A huge part of getting and staying sober is learning to just deal with you feelings head on. Drinking is just a a crutch covering up a bigger problem. Embrace being uncomfortable and stressed out and don’t respond to it by using a drug. Its incredibly empowering I promise!
It took me a lot of “field research” before I learned that drinking caused problems. Not solved them. All those reasons to not drink will still be there if you pick back up, along with some new ones. However, all the good things you got from not drinking will be gone with the first sip
You don’t have to think about forever. Just think about today.
Think back to all of the dumb things that happened while you were drinking. I’m sure hitting a house wasn’t the first stupid thing that happened in your life because of alcohol. What happens next time? Or 3 years from now? At some point you are going to have to face the truth. Why not have it be now, before anything else happens?
Between broken bones, a torn Achilles tendon, various other injuries, wrecking 4 cars, sexual promiscuity, getting roofied, loosing countless jobs, and the list goes on, and on, and on, one day I finally had to say I was done. I drank for 2/3rds of my life, and I couldn’t let it steal any more of my time, money, or dignity.
Anyway. You’ve already made it 17 days! That is incredible! Write your "why’s " down in a journal, or share them here so you can look back at why you decided enough was enough.
Well done on 17 days ,sorry to hear your having a hard time dont know if youve tried a meeting they make it easier when your struggling, one thing you dont want is to end up in the hospital you work at maybe a new direction and its only ADAAT wish you well
