Hi everyone, I went about two months without drinking and then slowly started drinking again, this week I drank more nights than I didn’t and I feel like crap. I’m so tired of this, it’s really hard though. I’m not interested in attending meetings but would be open to other suggestions. Thanks.
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I am in the same boat. I was sober off and on, and am now trying to invest myself in ANYTHING to distract me from cravings and I am trying to notice each and every little positive about not drinking. I was 1000% more productive this weekend than I have been in months because I didn’t drink, I exercised, went for walks, played with my kids, and I was surprised I felt as happy as I did. I started an exercise program that’s pretty rigorous and I wake up now looking forward to the time I can workout rather than drink. Here’s where it gets tricky- my husband won’t quit drinking, and all of my friends drink. I just need to be strong and say no to the first drink. Also there’s a SMART recovery online thread and you can buy the manual for $10… gonna do that too. You got this!!
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The easiest way not to drink is to not pick one up. We’re all an arms length away from our next drunk. If you’re not interested in meetings you could contact a behavioral health organization and get into IOP, go to an addiction therapist, try the SMART recovery work book, read the bible. There’s so many options, but you have to be willing to do them instead of doing what’s easy… picking up a drink.
The search function is a fantastic tool and there are a plethora of threads about alternatives to meetings that have helped many people get and stay sober.
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That’s a big part of my problem too, my husband and all of my friends drink. You’re right about not having the first one.
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You need to change something in your life. You can’t in my experience just stop drinking. Drinking plays a huge part in your life right now, if you stop there’s a void you need to fill. Take up a hobby, do something you’ve always wanted to do. Replace drinking with something productive.
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If you wanna stop drinking you should be open to all suggestions, not just the ones you think are good. Your best thinking got you here so maybe it’s time to try it someone else’s way.
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How open is your husband to taking a break from drinking in front of you right now? Eventually you’ll have to be able to be with people while they drink, but having a break from that for now could really help.
Also, progress and instant change are two different things. Personally, I have two separate clocks going in my recovery. I’ve been in recovery for 9 months, but I’ve got only 8 days of constant sobriety. Mistakes happen. You had a bad week. Well, make this week better. Keep going with God’s help–rely on Him and He will help–and you’ll find that you make the mistakes less and less often.
The last thing that has been a critical part of my recovery is the meetings…if the ones you’ve tired didn’t work for you then try meetings by a different organization or a different format such as phone-in meetings. There’s power in the support available through meetings.
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I don’t attend meetings either. My first attempt, I made it 4 months and I owe it all to this forum and the people here. This forum provided me with so much support, motivation, and encouragement. Right now, I’m trying SMART Recovery, I posted a link where a bunch of us are creating a group to work together, might be helpful for you.
Continuing the discussion from SMART Group for Talking Sober:
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I was looking for that link
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Is intensive outpatient a possibility? SMART recovery? An employee assistance program to get you started? It sounds like you are well past being able to do this on your own. There are many great folks on here who stay sober without meetings, but they have all made huge, concrete changes in their lives - starting with knowing that they cannot pick up - no matter what. What are you going to do differently this time? You can get sober. You don’t have to live like this anymore.
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So do mine. I’ve had to have conversations with all of them, telling them that I am an alcoholic and asking that they not offer a drink. To a person, they have been supportive. They are normal folks who can drink like sane people. I am not. When I drink, bad things happen. I’m trying to get sober not only because it is the best thing for me, but also because it is the most loving thing I can do for the important people in my life.
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We are starting an online SMART meeting type thing here if you are interested
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If you look at my post right above yours, as @Englishd said, we are starting a SMART group of you are interested
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Hello there, I can certainly relate to not being the “meeting type”… i tried going to a couple of “friends of” meetings when I was on a cruise ship, a few months ago, but that really didn’t do anything for me.
Quite the opposite, in fact, I was rather put off, to be truthful.
I know that people sometimes say “no, no, it isn’t a religion thing”, but I really got the impression that it was!
Anyway, not being the sort to going for meetings, I found a book that really helped me, by Alan Carr. You can look up his books on Amazon, they certainly aren’t expensive!
One of the best things that I got from that book, in addition to the recognition that if alcohol is such a great thing, why is it that drinking 250 mL of pure alcohol would kill just about anyone?
Drinking 250 mL of pure water or orange juice or even Coca-Cola won’t do THAT!
The other thing was the realisation that doing without alcohol is not DEPRIVING myself of anything, but rather FREEING myself from years of BS and propaganda and nonsense from alcohol companies, Hollywood, and even often well-meaning friends and family members.
I was at just over 120 days and had to reset… and I certainly wasn’t pleased with myself! That being said, I’m back to 60 days now and looking forward.
You can do it too.
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I’ve always wondered about the cruise ship meetings. Doesn’t sound like they are all that accurate portrayal of a typical meeting.
I’ve always wondered who the chair person would be. Was it a passenger or was it someone who worked for the cruise line? Did they have coffee? Was it usually the same people each day?
Sorry for the questions, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who has done a cruise ship meeting before.
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No worries, I’m happy to answer. I attended, as I recall, about 3 of the meetings. It was always the same people, there was a small group of 4 or 5 people, as I recall, but no one from the cruise ship line itself. They allocated the room for us, but that was about it. There was no coffee or anything else (but it’s a cruise ship, stuff like that is available ALL the time). One of the passengers chaired the meeting, and the meetings both started off and finished off with some prayer, which pretty much made me want to leave immediately.
Anyway, I don’t know if that is a typical representation of a meeting on a cruise ship, since when I personally worked on a cruise ship many years ago, though we had those same meetings on the program, it never occurred to me to stick my head in!
Sorry if that isn’t too useful of a reply.
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That’s exactly what I was looking for. On land the prayer part is optional. Many people just leave during the ending prayer. It’s up to the individual. The language is a little dated, but God is now known to mean a higher power of your choice. We have plenty of atheists and agnostics in the rooms. I wasn’t particularly religious or spiritual when I started the program. But I also was so desperate that I wasn’t going to let that bother me. I’d pray to the devil himself if I thought it would get me sober. Hell, there are probably people in the room who do.
Religion is for people who don’t want to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been to hell and don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back.
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I don’t know anything about that SMART group, but I would be interested to hear more… i think that I would personally find ONLINE meetings easier to stomach…
We are doing one on here in the near future
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What would that involve?