Yep, I had to reset.
I was out of town with my in-laws after my mother in law passed away. I was doing really well there until the night after the funeral. Watching how close this family is and how distraught they all are really hit me hard. It was a combination of love for them (and my MIL) and a sadness from missing my own departed mother that I just said “fuck it”. I had a couple of drinks.
In many ways it was a conscious choice (even though it was a “fuck it” that put the drink in my hand) and I don’t entirely regret it. I would regret it if I let it take over and send me into a full-on relapse. But I have been back at it hard again. I had 92 days and I’m very proud of those days. Today is the start of day 4. I absolutely plan on getting to 92 and beyond again.
I’m not perfect but I’m doing the best I can as a flawed human being.