I’m feeling so hopeless, once again, I’ve relapsed just under 3 days… I felt sorry for myself for being stupid enough to make contact with my ex’s sister and called my ex MIL a parasite… I lied to my mum about it and I think she’s seen the message now. she’s angry at me, she’s going to blast me and I am so weak at handling confrontation that I coddled myself by buying a can of hard cider… I have to submit a drug screen tomorrow and I’m ruining my chances of getting my daughter back…
I don’t know how to stop giving in and drinking everytime it gets too much… Justifying to myself why I NEED a drink…
It’s easier said than done. Can’t count how many times I said I’d quit,that lasted a day or two. Than my stupidity led to mandatory screens and big dollars going to where it shouldn’t if I only stuck with it. We all have to get on the horse & try again!!
Have you considered an inpatient rehab? If you have health insurance, I would recommend looking into it. I spent 21 days in one in November and I honestly don’t think I could do it on my own. It was so helpful to be able to focus 100% on recovery with no stress or distractions. It may also help your custody situation as judges look very favorably on successful completion. Best of luck and if you have any questions, I am here.
Things got a whole heap worse after I first posted… But I’ve confronted the issues (badly at first, I drank more).
I started to beat myself up more at first this morning over it, but realised this shame cycle is what leads me to keep drinking more after a relapse, rather than pick myself up, be strong and try again.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes, right? So I decided to ‘forgive’ myself and realise that I can to start to recover and stay on track by starting fresh…
Having to hit that re-set button so close to 3 days wasn’t a good feeling and one I’ll keep in mind next time I start to get bad cravings… I also want to try to get some self help books and try to go to an AA meeting. A friend started going a couple of months ago and found it life changing.
Thanks to those who replied… Inpatient re-hab was something I really really wanted to do and feel I need, unfortunately it’s not really a viable option for several reasons but some good support is just around the corner.
Day 3 again… Having "just one " crossed my mind again a few times. In reality, “just one” means a can of 10% woodstock that’s actually 3 standard drinks in 375ml. And that one can quickly becomes 3 or 4!
The app is helping alot. Remembering how horrible it felt to hit reset on Tuesday is really motivating me.
Stay strong! You can do this! If you catch yourself thinking about “just one” quickly find something to keep you busy until it passes.
You’ve got this!
