I haven’t told her about using this app or that I’m making a solid attempt to quit drinking. Because in the past she’s told me I don’t have a real problem but a “limit”. But the days I don’t come home or I stay in bed all day she’s pissed. Sooo it’s a catch 22.
She’s had a few glasses of wine tonight and walked into the living room to talk and watch the game with me. She told me she wanted to take a sleep aid on top all the wine. I joked and said maybe you shouldn’t…You knwo mixing can be dangerous…She laughed at me and said what you Haven’t drank in 6 days and now you know everything. I did my best to ingnore her. But she kept poking me. Life is hard, drinking won’t make it better. I knew this would be hard…
Sorry to always post…I don’t mean to be an attention hog. I normally don’t talk to people bout this. Just feels right since you all are in similar boats and are all strangers…
New day tomorrow…
Congrats on your 6 days and wanting to be a better you. Don’t apologize for posting… that’s why we are here. We are all in this together and we can’t beat this alone. I hope things get better and you receive all the support you need from home.
My husband didn’t laugh at me but I find I’m going to have a hard time quitting drinking because he drinks every night! I’m sure he’s going to laugh at me tomorrow when I tell him I’m signing up for an aa program! I don’t think I can get my husband to quit for a day and I never wanna drink again. I’m afriad if I stick with my sobriety plan our relationship is going down. Good luck to you.
The more you post the better. Dont apologize for that. If it helps get you through these difficult days then post all day!lol but seriously its okay.
Choosing to be sober can be hard, even someone very close to you will sometimes feel like you are judging their drinkinh just because you recognize your own problem.
It can hurt when they make comments like that but dont hold it against them. Im sure it doesnt come from a malicious place.
Congrats on 6 days thats amazing.Keep going
Hi Adam, my SO didn’t drink and for some odd reason wasn’t helpful.
For me, that was a green light to drink more, because she ‘didn’t understand me’.
It took some time before I reaslised I was using this as an enabler, disguising itself as ‘my reward for being rejected’.
So I eventually came to the conclusion I had to selfishly get sober for me, and me only. Which I have.
The benefits of that ‘selfishness’ will have a positive impact on your SO, family and friends so it’s worth it!
You’re right there with me, I hit 7 days at 4am this morning…keep it going, don’t let anything fluctuate your emotions, especially a little relationship friction…plus, doesn’t a little turbulence keep things interesting
If something positive ends a relationship, what kind of relationship is it?
It’s difficult to think logically about just about anything in your own life, especially when adding a mind altering substance. Let the clarity come first, then assess how you feel.
Thanks guys…Maybe I’m being sensitive. I know I can power through this & she’s normally super supportive. Maybe I need to talk to her about it.
Thanks again!
Yes maybe open up to her a little bit about why its important to you.Let her know you arent judging her for her decisions but you want to get sober because drinking just isnt working for you.
@Adam I was practically a lunatic of emotions in the first 9 days. Other people drove me nuts. But something has switched - I am now able to ‘care less’ about what other people are saying or how they are reacting. I’m in a force field of sobriety. This is weird - because I am historically emotional and reactive. I hope this happens for you in some way. Do this for you. It is so valuable.
And please post more not less - talking through other peoples sober-stuff really clarifies your own thinking
Hey Adam, great you came on here to let off steam so to speak rather than have a row. I think you just need to brush this one off as somebody saying something when under the influence who probably wouldn’t dream of saying it when sober. We’re all here because we have been that person but now we can sit here (slightly smug) and say we don’t do this anymore
It’s true that most non-addicts, in my experience anyway will tell you to just learn your limit. It’s not their fault that they are ignorant to our problem. I’m a bartender, and I see people every day that can drink multiple times a week, and keep it to a social 2, or 3 drinks. I could never do that. If I had a social 2, or 3, I would stop on my way home to pick up what I thought would be enough to get me to sleep(pass out). I’ve only been here for a few days. I’ll hit the 5 day mark in about 3 hours, and I don’t feel I’ve been sober long enough to give anyone advice. My father, is in fact an addiction counselor and sober about 34 years. I only admitted to him a couple weeks ago about my problem. I can only give my opinion.
Right on Rich. Glad you told your Dad. I’m 4 years behind him I sponsor a few guys at the moment they vary from a few weeks sober and 20 years it’s a good feeling been able to help other alcoholics with my experience it’s been a great journey. You take care give my best to your Dad
I had the same issues with my wife. Perhaps when you start sobering up you see things as they actually are and people don’t like it. I am still a newbie but feel I am getting there… slowly
Do NOT apologize for posting. You are not an attention hog. You are looking for advice and support. Sometimes just to get it down is all you need. Sometimes you need responses. Do what you need. We are all here for that.
SO, “Significant Other”!!! I just figured it out! That took me a while, lol
All to often we tend to project our realities onto others or visa versa. I honestly don’t know why my LACK of drinking is such an issue and the root cause of conflict within my relationships except for the fact that everyone I know met me drinking and I’m way different while sober.
If you’ve been drinking for a while like myself, you may find that getting to know the sober you is a learning experience not only for yourself, but those around you and it takes time and patience dealing with both. Females in particular can be tricky because some of us tend to be a bit more emotional than logical and at times take things personally even if it wasnt directed at us. Not all of us, but I’m an excellent example of us who do, lol.
I get a lot of flack daily and pressure from those around me who drink, but I’m slowly learning that my abstinence makes them uncomfortable not because of my actions, but theirs. Be patient, persistent, and productive.
My relationship with alcohol literally effected every other relationship I was in. Now its like starting from the beginning…
Congrats on day 6! And don’t apologize for posting, that is what this is here for! That is too bad she is not taking you seriously, but perhaps she is dealing with her own struggle/regret and is trying to rock the boat to see if you are being for real. Stay strong, go for a walk, drink some hot cocoa, read a book. Distract yourself from her attempts to distract your sobriety!
Man I identify with this so much. It feels like everyone is against me. I am 40 years old but the peer pressure and lack of support is harsh. SO thinks or says I don’t do it every night so we are fine and just to limit but if I have one, I have 12! Sick of feeling sick. Want to get fit again. Tired of it. Want to be a better person. I am on day 2.
