Just looking for any relevant advice information you may have for my current situation.
I am 2 years sober. This woman is 1.5 years sober. I’ve been single 9 years, she’s been single 4. We are both very independent and autonomous with a stable sobriety. We are both very interested in one another, which I am grateful for. I am going to meet her family over the fourth of july actually .
My current feeling is she would improve my life and harden my sobriety. I have no clue what I’m getting into otherwise. Even if we both weren’t sober . Anything helps. Thanks team.
Good luck Matt in your relationship. @anon79808082 said it best. Finding someone special that you enjoy hanging out with is a great gift, especially if you have the same goals in life centered around sobriety. It could be the beginning of a most beautiful relationship. Soulmates do not come around very often.
I was married 10+ years to a lady that I met in Alcoholics Anonymous. Some of the best years of my life. We both had a united goal of sobriety. Good luck my friend and congratulations.
I’ve heard it said to wait two years before starting a relationship in sobriety. You’re there but she is not. Obviously it’s just a recommendation. Perhaps you should both talk to your sponsors about it if you have sponsors and then discuss that together after. For me personally I don’t think I could date a girl who was less sober than me, but I would consider an exception for an exceptional woman. Good luck.
I have heard both great success and total disaster stories in the halls. Both early recovery and large long periods of sobriety have had things work out and fail. I would just make sure that your first priority is having a no excuses attitude toward staying stopped. Talk about religious beliefs and politics to make sure you are compatible. Also peoples lifestyle and race tolerances etc. To make sure that there are no surprises. Since a break up could be a trigger for one or both of you and that would be a huge disappointment to see such good people lose such great accomplishments. You should both be proud of yourselves no matter what happens after your serious talk. Hope this helps. Going into a relationship blind with that much on the line would be tragic. Best of luck.
Turns out she was bipolar and fighting cravings the entire time so she was sooooooo fuckin irritable. Which is understandable but not what I signed up for. She needs more sober time and/or brain chemistry balancing.
I stood up for myself in a respectful way. I literally said ‘out of the love and respect I have for myself, I am not going to be able to put up with behavior like this on a regular basis’. I’m back home with the pup listening to free bird. Life is good.
Called my sponsor before leaving and I would recommend everyone do the same before making a consequential decision like that.
Sounds like you met my ex. LOL @KeepMovingForward at least you didn’t ignore all the red flags like I did. My sponsor at the time told me I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet, so I fired him. We live and learn… Congratulations Matt not making the same mistake I did.
If you are both secure in your individual sobriety, I’d say there’s less risk in entering into a relationship, than there would be dating a “normie”. The risk of one relapsing and taking the other down is less than one relapsing from regular exposure that would come with dating a “normie”. If anything, it would add additional accountability, IMHO.
At some point, life must move forward. If forward means pursuing romantic relationships, then get after it.
Thanks for the positive feedback. It means a lot. I have always put up with anything to stay in the relationship that was causing so much damage. First time applying the lessons learned. Thanks again for the feedback, you can also do things differently if you run into that situation again.
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. Anything helps. Thanks team.
We live and learn… Congratulations Matt not making the same mistake I did.