Sober again after my weird night

Alright so I started drinking again and now I’m stopping again because it’s what’s best for me.
Weird thing happened last night the guy I was drinking with grabbed me by the throat because he got mad that I wanted to go get my lighter out of my apartment and he was like I said let’s go. And then when I grabbed my lighter and came out he wouldn’t leave my building and I kept telling him and then he got angry and was like FINE and shoved past me and then I went to him and he was telling I can’t just tell people what to do. So I apologized for making him upset and he said sorry doesn’t fix anything and I need to grow up. And then he took my phone away from me and I started crying because I was at his house with no phone and he was angry. Anyways he didn’t know what to do because he has house mates and i kept crying so he started shoving my arm to stop and I was trying and then he was like let’s go smoke some weed to calm you down and I was saying I should just leave but I went to smoke and then I ended up staying at his place . It’s super weird night right like is that messed up ? Or am I over reacting?

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That was kinda hard to read worrying for your safety. I’d step away from him and take care of you. Nice to see you back here!

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He should not talk to you that way or react violently. You did nothing wrong here and I hope you don’t see that guy again. Coming from personal experience the abuse will only get worse if you stay and make up excuses for him. I’d definitely worry about your safety. Start putting yourself first.

Tasha

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That was an unnecessary apology. You have every right to tell someone to leave your residence. Then he has the nerve to take your phone away? Who the f**k does he think he is? I suggest breaking off all communication with him. You’ve endured a lot of abuse. Block him on your phone and all social media. You deserve to live a happy sober and clean life. People like that will only hinder your success. Set your boundaries and stick to them.

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Hi i hope you are ok ?
Are you back home or still at his house ?
Its a bit confusing to understand what actually happened or why you went to his house after the situation that happened at yours. How long have you known him?
I think perhaps as long as your in a safe place now you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself, we all have our reasons for having to quit our drink or drug of choice. You know this is your time to stop, i hope you are ok.

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Honestly… if I read this correctly… I would be very concerned for ur safety. No one should be grabbing ur throat or shoving u or taking away ur property. I hope ur not still there. This is not okay behavior in any way, shape, or form. If he is okay with doing this now, this will probably just get worse. Red flags are popping up for me all over ur post. Hope ur alright.

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These are the types of scary situations that substance abuse can put us in and hopefully is another motivating factor for you to be sober as that could have gone much worse.

I’m happy you are safe and ready to change, you can do this :heart::heart:

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You aren’t over reacting.

I know when I was drinking and drugging I ended up in a lot of situations where I was vulnerable. While I was in it I didn’t really think much of it. But now, just wow. I did things I just wouldn’t do sober.

That’s not to say his actions are in any way your responsibility. That’s all on him.

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Those are exactly the situations that happen under the influence. Violence, emotions, you can’t place it because everyone reacts differently. Under the influence, our reactions are strengthened. But that’s not to say this guy is someone to hang out with. I’d say cut ties and focus on your sober life with other people!

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Get away from him and stay away from him! Stay safe! :pray::dove:

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Goodness…

Let me begin by explaining that I am a part-time self-defense instructor, and the father of a teen girl, so I might be a bit overly sensitive to situations like the one you described. That said:

You aren’t overreacting. If anything you aren’t taking this seriously enough. If you are hanging out, using substances that alter your perceptions and inhibitions, you are placing yourself in danger. Our ability to perceive potential danger, and our natural inhibitions are nature’s way of helping us recognize and avoid danger.

Using these substances with someone with the capacity of engaging in social aggression is dangerous. “Barfights” don’t happen between sober people. Drugs and alcohol warp perceptions, ie “did that person disrespect me?”. Drugs and alcohol suppress inhibitions: “since they’re disrespectful, I’m gonna choke them to show them they can’t control me. They deserve what I do to them”

I am happy that you survived this brush with social violence relatively unscathed. I hope a sober you can reflect and learn from this. Please take a look at what you are doing, and who you are doing it with. The best self-defense is avoiding situations where self-defense might be needed. I don’t need to learn how to defend myself in a barfight, if I don’t go to bars.

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You ended up spending the night with someone who choked you, took away your phone ergo wouldn’t let you reach anyone outside the situation, who wouldnt leave your house, didn’t let you leave his (without phone), who shoved you physically and threatened and guilted you.

This guy is an arsehole. Nuff said.

And what are you doing? What’s your part in this? You didn’t advocate for yourself one bit. You let him treat you like shit and the spend the night afterwards.
You put yourself in massive danger. Probably because of drinking and drugging.

You remind me of myself back in the day. I couldn’t adovate for myself either and let shit happen to me, albeit not exactly this shit. That makes me sad and angry for both of us. What more do you need to know? Yes, stopping drinking is the best for you.

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Yes I’m sorry, I’m safe now but I was kinda still fresh to what just happened so I didn’t write clearly

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Thank you, I’m safe now and already blocked him

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So glad your ok, I was just thinking about you and was going to see how you are doing now.

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:pray::dove:Glad you are okay

This whole story is a red flag, and I pray that you never see or speak to this person again….Mabe even a restraining order is necessary. It’s great that you want to quit drinking! My drinking has put me in some compromising situations, so I totally understand that part. That is one reason why I quit. If you feel like drinking leads to bad decision/judgment on your end then it’s always best to leave it alone. It could save your life.

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