42 day been an alcoholic since I was 16 and I’m 33 now. It really got bad the last 2 years it was every day and I always had to find the bottom of the bottle. It cost me a 14 year relationship 9 years married and our 2 kids. She finally decided to leave after I had been quit for 2 weeks she said I drained her mentally and emotionally and she just couldn’t do it anymore. I think she has had a guy she works with comforting her during this and her being vulnerable and she is falling for his bs. I’m doing everything I can to show her Im going to change for real this time. I see a therapist and psychiatrist to help me manage everything. I even got psychiatrist to put me on anti abuse meds 2 weeks ago so she would have that security blanket but nothing has helped so far. I’m going to stay sober for my kids and pray God opens her heart back up to me once she sees the change.
Welcome! Congrats on 42 days.
Sorry about your relationship issues. I know how hard that can be. Stay focused on your recovery. Keep doing the next right thing over and over. Be kind to yourself.
In recovery I sometimes feel like I should get recognition for my good behavior. it takes time for others to really see and believe the changes. All you can do is keep doing the next right thing and hope for the best,
No matter what happens you will get to be fully present for your kids. Thats a priceless gift of recovery!
Glad your here! Glad your sober!
Thank man and that’s what I’m going to do one day at a time keep doing the right thing. I put God back in my life and I know He is with me in this storm and will see me through it.
Since I found this place I visit daily. When I walk through challenges in recovery I come here for support. If I’m struggling, I visit every five minutes. Its helped me get through some major challenges without drinking. I go to AA when I can, and its been working.
this place is available 24/7.
I’m 20 years older than you, and I havent drank for 516 days in a row. Ive walked through some really heavy shit. including being able to be fully present with my kids who I had lost contact with for nearly ten years. It hasnt been easy, but its been worth it!
Its never to late!
Congrats on 42 days of sobriety, that’s no small feat! It may not feel like it, but it’s not too late. Our alcoholic behavior is hard to deal with much less put up with and it certainly takes it’s toll on any relationship, but I think it’s repairable, over time. It takes time.
There’s something I’ve learned over the past couple of years since becoming sober, and that is the person responsible for all of my problems is myself. That being said, there is something you wrote that doesn’t quite sit well. You said that there is someone that she works with that is proving support and she is falling for his… checks notes… “BS”. From one alcoholic to another, all you’re doing is minimizing your own behavior and blaming someone else for your problem. I think the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can repair your marriage. This comes from a place of love, not judgment; I’ve been in a similar situation before and learned the hard way.
Hi there, congrats on 42 days and on what sounds like taking big steps, with professional help, I applaud that!!
At the same time, you’ve been a drinker during your entire relationship and marriage. If your wife has had it now, it’ll take more than 42 days for her to even begin to consider to believe the change in you. And who can blame her? Focus on yourself. Do the right thing, every day, every hour. Treat her honestly, decently, humbly. She might regain her trust in you yet, it’s really early days. But it rightly will take your absolute best efforts at turning your life around and stay that way.
The good news is: you can do it! So many ppl on this app have done so, and so can you! Welcome!
Oh man… your situation mirrors mine to almost a tee. I wasn’t able to save my marriage, but things got better eventually and I see my son weekly. I hope you can reconcile with her. Stay strong.
It may be too late to save the marriage, or maybe not. Sobriety leaves reconciliation possible. Only continued drinking will settle that question.
I understand that and I take full responsibility for everything that has happened in my marriage. I also didn’t take what you said as judgement like you said you been in a similar situation and that’s why I’m here for support and advice from people like your self that have been through similar situation. I appreciate you reaching out and giving me advice. I hope time will heal my marriage but the way she talked yesterday it’s done beat her down to the point of no return.
I know that this feels like the end of the world as you know it right now. Most of us don’t make it to sobriety without being in a similar situation – in that we are hanging on to something that we cannot imagine our lives without. But I can tell you, many times we don’t know what is good for us or why things are happening the way they are right now. Only time and a lot of work on ourselves, mentally and spiritually, will reveal that.
I know how much this is tearing you up – but remember one thing – marriage or no marriage, you got two little ones (at least from your pict) that need a sober daddy in their lives. That is where you are today. You cannot be the dad you want to be, if the bottle is still in your life. So first things, first – focus on your sobriety right now and doing the work to make yourself a better person. For this Goat, I have found that when I start looking at what the next right action should be – things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to (which isn’t synonymous with how Goat wants them to work out).
Oh yeah I know 42 days is nothing compared to 14 years of putting up with it. I have to give it to her she was always there for me through it all and if things with my drinking wouldn’t have gotten worse the last 2 years I don’t think I would be in this situation now, but I really let ii get out of hand it turned into an everyday thing and I always had to find the bottom of the bottle. It caused arguments that probably never happen if I wasn’t drinking and things I know I would have never said to her but I let the bottle get the better of me. I made this bed now I have to lay in it like it or not.